I’m in Florida. I really love it a lot. God is so good and so faithful. I’m so thankful for what He’s doing. I love the weather here, and I live ten minutes from the beach and 1 hour and 35 minutes to Walt Disney World. In my opinion, that’s pretty awesome. I’ve found an incredible church that I’m so thankful and honored to call my home. It’s called Victory SRQ. I love it here.
Living in community is so important. I’m really thankful that community allows for a place to build intimacy, trust, freedom and love. I lived in community while leading Young Life from 2004-2008. It was awesome. I made (almost) every best friend that I have today in Young Life. I’ve talked on here before about the pain I have from relationships, and almost all of it comes from being in a wheelchair. It’s been a tough thing in my life, but I’ve grown so much. I am so thankful. I’m learning to really communicate my heart. I think one of the hardest parts about living in community and being in a wheelchair is not being with people as much as some might be used to. Friendships form from the all night talk, they form from the time that you ran out of gas together, they form from having a crazy dance party, and they form from doing life together. What do I do when life so often happens without me? I’ll be honest, I haven’t always done it well. My love languages are quality time and touch, so it’s a painful thing for me to see others bonding from quality time while I can’t be there. Please understand I’ve never been mad at anyone, and my best friends should have lives beyond me. I encourage it. However, I’ve often felt shame, discouragement, fear, and hopelessness in many relational experiences. So how do I live in community? I first have to know whose I am and how loved I am. Every relationship flows out of our relationship with Jesus, whose love is perfect. I am His son, and I am deeply loved. I then have to go to as many events as possible, and be as consistent as possible. But even as I consistently show up, there will be people who don’t really know how to connect with me. I have to pursue people, and I have to clearly communicate my heart. I have to invite people to just be with me. We live in community to be loved, known, grow, and learn. We’re starving for affection. We were born to live in intimacy, trust, and freedom. But we’re powerful people, and it’s up to us to clearly communicate our needs and desires. I could sit in shame and fear, or I can walk through my obstacles and love. If I want to be known, that’s up to me.
I believe I will walk on earth, and I believe that day is coming soon. The unique obstacles to relationships from being in a wheelchair will soon be gone, but I will not allow them to manage me anymore. I am walking through them, just as I will when I walk. We all have something standing between us and intimacy, which usually manifests in fear, shame, and guilt. Walking won’t be an easy button for relationships, I definitely understand that. I’ll walk through my obstacles now, and I’ll do it then. I want to love passionately and courageously. I want to walk through my friend’s heartache and joy. I want to be known. Do you?
