living our our full inheritance part 4

I briefly touched on this in my last post, but Father is extremely passionate about us having relationships that are full of freedom and life. The highest calling on our relationships is to hang out and enjoy each other. I love that we can do ministry together and that we value expanding the Kingdom together. But I also believe that ministry can get in the way, and that we can release Heaven even more by just enjoying each other and Jesus. How do we have freedom and life? We manage ourselves. We dare to be intimate and make our needs known. I’m so thankful that my parents taught me at a young age that love is a choice. If we “fall” in love, we can “fall” out of love. I’m extremely passionate about connecting with people.

My love languages are quality time and touch. That means that when someone takes the time to have a conversation with me, or just sits with me, I feel extra loved. The possibility of having a road trip with some of my best friends makes me giddy. They would be stuck in a close space with me, whether we’re talking, singing, or being completely quiet - they would be with me. I also love hugs and kisses. I love shaking hands or when someone puts their hand on me just to show their love. There are five love languages: quality time, touch, words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service. While it’s not good to be beholden to our love languages, we all have them and we should be aware of them. It’s pretty fun to be told how awesome I am, receive a gift, or have someone serve me. They just don’t pierce my soul like quality time or touch. One of the most painful things about being in a wheelchair is people not knowing how to just be with me. It can create a barrier. People don’t have a problem telling me how inspiring I am, but they usually don’t know how to sit down and have a real conversation with me. I remember being a young boy and seeing other boys go off and play, or seeing everyone in the student section at high school basketball and football games. I rarely felt bad about not being able to do a specific activity, it hurt because I wasn’t with them and not having my needs met. Being in a wheelchair and having quality time as your primary love language can be a painful combination. Being aware of how we feel love helps us to express our needs. I’m learning to express my needs to my family and friends.

Being a powerful person means that I’m vulnerable and express my needs, and that I show someone what’s going on inside of my heart. That gives the other person the freedom to choose to respond to my needs or not. It’s a great feeling to have a friend show us their heart and we get to choose how to respond. A lot of us are afraid to bare our souls, it’s why we see so much manipulation in relationships. It’s a lot less scary to manipulate than it is to talk about what’s going on inside of us. I’m learning that as I interact with my family and friends, and it’s been really freeing and fun. I used to try and manipulate my friends so that they would hang out with me. I was too afraid to tell them that I needed to hang out with them to have my needs met. I would manipulate or just stay silent. I would just cry and my needs went unmet. It wasn’t good. I’m thankful for grace. We’re all desperate and hungry for intimacy. We all need affection and connection.

It’s important to remember that all relationships flow out of our relationship with Jesus. Our relationship with Jesus, Holy Spirit, and Father flows out of the relationship that the Trinity has. We never have lack. We’re always in perfect relationship. Our family and friends will let us down. They will choose not to meet our needs. I’ve done it on several occasions. When we have that disconnect, powerful people put up healthy boundaries. Our happiness is not decided by what other people do, it’s decided by how loved we are by Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. We bring our own happiness and love. I really thought I was in love in high school. I would have done anything for this girl. I took it a few steps too far though, I valued her and our relationship above God. We weren’t even dating, and yet I placed her above the great male friends I had. Everything was out of whack. I wanted to love her as the beautiful girl she was, but I was held captive because I was living as a powerless person. As a powerful person I can now put up boundaries and love deeply. My love isn’t managed by anyone else but me. We need the revelation of the love and pleasure God has for us. It’s from that love and pleasure that we become powerful people.

Jesus we’re so thankful that you’ve created us to be powerful. We love relationships. Give us a revelation of the love and pleasure you have for us. We love the freedom that you’ve given us. We will be vulnerable and honor our relationships.

living out our full inheritance part 3

The worst thing a believing Christian can call themselves is a “sinner saved by grace.” We have all sinned, and we must never lose sight of what Jesus did for us. But when we become born again, the old man is dead and we become a new creation. People who call themselves a sinner saved by grace are getting their identity as a sinner. When we get our identity as a sinner we’re setting ourselves up for failure. We’re not sinners. We are sons and daughters of God. We are powerful and free. We’re still capable of sinning, but we’ve really lost the appeal of it. We’re free to be powerful and manage ourselves. Sin is a big deal. Sin really isn’t that big of a deal. I love the tension of the Kingdom. God is never surprised, shocked, or angry over our sin. When I did something stupid or harmful to myself or others, my parents would get upset and help correct me. They never called me a bad boy. My stupidity never changed the way they saw me. They were only upset because I was doing something harmful to myself, others, or our connection. It’s the same with Father. He never sees us as anything other than His wonderful sons and daughters. God doesn’t hate sin because He made up some random rules, He hates sin because it causes a disruption in our connection. The disconnect is never on His side of our relationship, it’s on our side. Thankfully, Jesus has dealt with it on our side. Our spirit is in perfect union with Him.

It’s a common belief that Jesus paid the price for our sins. Unfortunately, many in the American church don’t believe that Jesus has healed us from all sickness in the very same act. We believe lies that are very damaging. We see a loved one that dies from cancer, all while praying for them to be healed. We then assume that it was God’s will for them to die. We become discouraged and don’t pray for anyone next time. We also believe that our body is somehow less important than our spirit and soul. Jesus never separated them. He is just as passionate about healing our body than forgiving our sins. Our body is just as spiritual and just as important as anything. As Christians we make agreements that says it’s okay for our body to be sick because we’re really learning perseverance and the joy of God. That’s great. We should have perseverance and joy in the midst of everything, no matter how bad our doctors report is. But those valuable lessons never make it okay to have a sick body. God is so big and so good that He will use anything bad for His and ours good. It’s never His desire or plan to use sickness to make us a better person. We must stop having the mindset that says it’s okay to be sick as long as we’re healthy emotionally and spiritually. I’m not walking yet, but I’m learning to have pleasure and freedom in the midst of everything. I can also tell you that Jesus wants to see me walking more than I want to walk. That’s crazy, because I REALLY want too. He’s so very good. He has already healed us, and I want to see His reward manifested.

Jesus also brought freedom to our souls. He didn’t die so we could one day be saved. We have total access to His victory this very day. In my mind, our soul involves our cognizant beliefs, emotions, and thoughts. I believe we can have complete freedom. We are powerful and have freedom to manage ourselves. I’ve really been learning that a lot. My relationships have involved manipulation because I felt and believed I was powerless. I remember I told one of my friends a lie one time just so my life could be more interesting. I believed the lie that I had to perform to make someone want to hang out with me. But the truth is, is that I am powerful. I’m just learning how to live that out. It’s been really fun and exciting. Father has given us complete freedom over our beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. How awesome is that? We’re going to feel pain and face scary things, but how do we manage that pain and fear? A powerless person will allow the pain and fear to rule over them. I’ve been there many times. I lived with my friend Mike for a year, he took care of a lot of my physical care. We moved in together about two months after I had the revelation that God could heal me so that I could walk. I was ready to change the world with my best friend. I wanted non stop praying, bible study, worship, and sharing our hearts. When we just relaxed I often felt restless and irritated. I became manipulative out of fear and feeling powerless. It soon created a distance in our friendship even though we were together most of everyday. While praying and all that is great and important, demanding it makes for a horrible friend. I believed lies and allowed fear to rule my soul. I believed God COULD heal me, but I wasn’t sure if He WANTED too. I was trying to perform because I didn’t know how loved I really am. Now I get to rest in the fact that Jesus WANTED to heal me so much, He already HAS. Sometimes it’s way more important that we just have fun and be silly with our friends than it is to pray or have a bible study. I believed God brought us together because I’m going to walk and we’re going to shape the course of history as we step into our destinies. That’s true. But I unfortunately made that the centerpiece and goal of our friendship. The highest calling of ANY friendship is to just hang out and love each other. I want to be friends with someone because I like being with them. Changing the world will come as a result of the love and the hanging out.

Jesus we’re so thankful that you have brought freedom to our spirit, body, and soul. We want to live it out.