Thank You

I'm thankful for....

My Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. For your unconditional love, grace, and joy. God you're my everything. Thank you for your intimacy and presence.

My Mom and Dad. Everyday you give everything up so I can have it all. I love you. I will spend my life loving you, honoring you, and blessing you.

My brother, my best friend. You are there for me when no one else is.

Garrett and Joel, my cousins, brothers, and best friends.

Grandpa and Grandma, Grammy and Papa, Aunt Rita, Uncle Rick, Aunt Gaylene, Aunt Pam, Uncle Keith, Ryan, Ronnie, Liz, Brett, Jenn, Dean, Robbie, Becca, Haylee, Aunt Lila, Uncle Gary, Jeff, Kelly, Uncle Gary and Aunt Vanissa, Uncle Mark and Aunt Pam, Jacob, Britt, Uncle Steve and Aunt Beth, Jeff, Joy, Jason, Uncle Marv and Aunt Linda, Uncle Eugene and Aunt Cindy, Crystal, Carrie, Uncle Kenny and Aunt Jan, Holly, Greg, Grandpa and Grandma Schultz and Beach, Caswell Family, Uncle Brad, and Aunt Vera. And my puppy Cash. Without you I wouldn't be alive, I wouldn't be me.

Gater Family, Robbins Family, Nelson Family, Krzeczkowski Family, Emhoff Family, Mikeyp, David and Sarah Reeves, Betsy Ruhlig, Emily Golen, Bryan Hamilton, Amy Knight, Julie Johnson, Katie Graf, Jason and Lisa, David D'Louhy, Sarah Beni, Joey, Kevin, Jakey, Dan, Schmitty, Jeff, Steve and Kate Ewing, and Laura Hailes. You keep me fighting. You have fought for me, encouraged me, loved me, and helped me grow up. You cry with me, dance with me, take care of me, celebrate with me, and pray with me. You give me life.

Pastor Tom and Christ Our King. Your restless prayers are powerful. You taught me to trust God. You laid my foundation.

Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton, and Bethel Church. You're a catalyst to my destiny. You showed me how great God truly is. You showed me how to know Him. You have faith for me when all faith is lost.

Young Life. You taught me how to love. You showed me what community is.

Everyone at University of Michigan. Special shout out to EVERY SINGLE NURSE! You kept me alive.

Gods goodness, His resurrection power, His justice, His compassion, His peace, and His righteousness.

Broken

When I used to hear that Christians should be broken it made me so mad. I didn't understand what it meant. I created a theology that my disease made me broken, so I never pursued brokenness. Besides that, I didn't like the idea. But since then I understand it a little bit better. I think there is a bad kind of broken, and there is a kind of Godly brokenness. The bad brokenness is sin, disease, death, defeat, and wounds. We can use the Godly kind of broken to eradicate false brokenness. Sin and disease are the farthest kind of brokenness God wants for us.

I would define true brokenness as the first step to humility. Humility is not being sad or belittling yourself. Humility is boldly going to to the throne of our King, and knowing that He is God. I am a son of God, I'm real royalty, I'm strong, powerful, loving, courageous, wise, and in love. That is not arrogance, it is knowing who I am. But humility is yielding yourself to God, knowing who He is. That's why I love the worship song “Here I am to Worship.” It is so profound. It says that more than anything else, God I'm here to worship you. Bill Johnson says that all ministry flows out of worship. That song has brought me through some very hard times.

Like I said, I believe that brokenness is the first step to humility. For me, I get busy, complacent, numb, and many other emotions and behaviors that lead me away from God. But being broken can be seen as God coming near us. He's making Himself aware to us. Last year I went to Florida for the outpouring. One day I went to lunch at Sonny's BBQ with Steve Nelson and Denise Gater. It was great friends, great conversation, and great food. While we were there Steve got me a Sonny's sticker and put it on my footrest, so I see it everyday. When I see that sticker it breaks my heart, but not in the unhealthy way. It reminds me of God and my relationships. It breaks my heart because even though I'm in love with Jesus and my friends, it's easy to go on in life. I also look to my picture of me walking that Denise painted me. It imparts life to me, reminding me the impossible awaits to bow to Jesus by my command. Being broken by Jesus is like being pierced in the soul. It's when He touches the deepest parts of me. He breaks us through His goodness, love, compassion, and power.

Lord I pray that we become your laid down lovers.

Bethel's Offering of Thanks

Every Sunday when Bethel Church gives offering, they give thanks by saying this. It is so powerful!

As we receive today's offering we are believing the Lord for:

Jobs and better jobs,
Raises and bonuses
Benefits Sales and commissions
Favorable settlements
Estates and inheritances
Interests and income
Rebates and returns
Checks in the mail
Gifts and surprises
Finding money
Debts paid off
Expenses decrease
Blessing and increase

Thank You, Lord, for meeting all of my financial needs that I may have more than enough to give into the Kingdom of God and promote the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Hallelujah!!!!!!

Healer

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease


I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need


Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands


Those are some lyrics to one of my favorite songs. It's called Healer. They are simple lyrics, but so profound. Most people don't have the revelation that Jesus is Healer. Christians believe Jesus died for our sins. They go to him because they are scared, worried, struggling, and seeking forgiveness. But not enough Christians go to Him because they are sick. They either believe God gave them sickness, or they don't have faith they will be healed. Some believe that God could, but not sure if He will. But the truth is God wants us to be healed more than we want to be healed. Jesus paid the price for our bodies just as much as our soul. When Jesus rose from the dead He beat sin, disease, death, and, torment. “Jesus Christ bore my sins in His own body on the tree; therefore, I am dead to sin and alive unto the righteousness of God, in Christ Jesus, and by His stripes I am healed and made whole.” (1 Pet. 2:24; Rom. 6:11; 2 or. 5:21). When we become born again, we are made new. The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is in us. We are dead to sin, disease, and torment. It is illegal. Do we all live like that? No. I have weakness and have a major disease. But that's for another post. I keep my eyes on Jesus. Lets look to Him. Be bold. Have compassion. Don't give up. Pray unceasingly. Listen to His voice. He wants us well, today.

Bless President Obama

It was about a year ago that America elected Barack Obama as our President. If you know me, you know it's no secret that I did not vote for him. I don't know his heart, or don't know him. But from what I gather, I disagree with a lot of his policies. My big one is the right to life. You can't convince me that the Lords agenda is not to decree the protection of the unborn from the highest courts of our land. President Obama does not have that agenda. But when I listen to Kris Vallotton, a pastor at Bethel, he always encourages us to not live by a denominational mindset, but have a value for family. In a denomination the first goal is to always agree, then from there create a relationship. With family, you create relationships first, with love, regardless of what you agree or disagree with.

I believe in Jesus. He is my savior, healer, and deliverer. I believe He is the only way to freedom, forgiveness, and eternal life. But what kind of Christian would I be if I only loved and made relationships with people who agree with me? And it's just as wrong to befriend people so I can change them. The same should go with our President. God commands us to honor and pray for the people who have authority over us. As Christians lets represent Christ. Lets love and bless Obama with no other motive. Kris says Obama is somebody's son, husband, lover, nephew, friend, and confidant. And most of all, he is a son of God, and God is deeply and madly in love with him. As much as God is on my side, he is just as much behind Obama. Our President is not someone we can criticize and judge. Who among us knows what he goes through? That's not to say to be passive in our prayer life, but it must flow from love.

Lord I pray you bless President Obama. Bring peace and love to him and his family. Protect them from all harm. Lord right now he needs you more than ever, make yourself known to him. Shower him with your love. Let him encounter you. Lord surround him with Godly council, and humble his heart that he may listen. Let your will be done, not his and not mine. Release favor over him, so that his presidency will be a success. Raise up your sons and daughters to stand behind him, constantly interceding on his behalf from love and honor. You are a good God! We love you!

Part Of Your World

If you spend any amount of time with me you will discover that I love Disney. I especially like the animated classics. I think they are powerful movies, at least to me. "The Little Mermaid" is one of my favorites. The part of the movie I want to talk about is when Ariel sings "Part of Your World." Whether the song writer knew it or not, the message of this song is right out of the Bible. Every time I hear it I get tears in my eyes.

She starts out the song with how thankful she is for her home and all the things she has. But she quickly moves into how she wants more, she isn't satisfied. She wants to dance and walk on her feet! When I hear that I feel warmth in my soul. I want to dance and walk on my feet! Banning Liebscher, a pastor at Bethel, taught me that I must always stay thankful, and at the same time never be satisfied with what I have. The two go hand in hand. In God there is always more. He values thankfulness, and wants us to stay grounded in that. But He never sets limits for us, we set our own limits. One thing I want is for Ann Arbor to be a "wheelchair free zone." I want people to come from around the world to Ann Arbor, and the second people come into the city limits they get out of the chair, not needing any prayer. I absolutely believe that kind of glory and presence is possible. But it takes thankfulness and desperation. I always ask God for more, asking that He will take me to places in my soul where I never become satisfied. God wants to give us cities and nations, but do we want them? I don't always. There are days when I just feel blah. I have another dream where I run a hotel, where miracles happen daily. After I got so sick last year I didn't know what to do. My dreams seemed farther away than ever. I decided that instead of having that mindset, I started going back to school. I want to go back to school to get a degree in business as a practical step. It would force me to think ahead and not allow my circumstances to define me. It helps me remember I'm alive for big and mighty things. How sad would it be if people became satisfied? God doesn't need us to act, but He wants us and chose us. He chose to work through us.

Lord please grant us grace to always be thankful, and to always want more.

Now I Know

Last October my life changed drastically. I went to the hospital with pneumonia because I could barely take a full breathe. For the first twenty-two years of my life I slept on a machine called a Bi-Pap, and thank God I only had to wear it at night. During the day I was pretty much a normal kid who liked to hang out with friends and chase girls. I was blessed with a lot of strength that most people who have Spinal Muscular Atrophy do not have. I could eat and feed myself, I wrote most of my school work, and I stayed out of the hospital from ten to twenty-one. I got most of my strength from my faith in Jesus and by the people who I surrounded myself with. My parents and family and friends were vital to my health and strength. I went on with life never thinking about being in a wheelchair or having a disease. By the support of my parents I lived, and I'm still living, a great life. I did not think about how I would go to college or get married and have a family, I just knew I would. You could say that I was naïve, had blind faith, foolish, and was in denial. But I say I had a heart after God and had His favor. I didn't even know it.

After graduating high school my body became increasingly weak. It was harder for me to eat and I started losing a dramatic amount of weight. And my lungs started getting weaker. I really became scared. For the first time in my life I had come to terms that this disease might kill me. I began thinking that I would never get married. I started asking God why He made me this way, and if He did not then why allow it. But then God surrounded me with people who showed me what He is like. Everyone in Young Life knew God, they loved Him and loved each other. They shared that love with me. I felt courage and hope and joy again. After about a year of being in fellowship with them I had deeper relationships and a deeper life with Jesus than ever before. I began to know God and not just know about Him. Through time He taught me that He is always good. He taught me that He is madly in love with me. And more than anyone else He wants me to walk and be healed! It was never His will for anyone to have any disease. Jesus paid the price to set me free. From that point on I have unashamedly pursued and chased God and that dream.

October 2008 I hit a major road block. I had an emergency surgery where they had to put a trach in my neck to save my life. They hooked me up to a vent and hoped for the best. My parents and family prayed and waited, not knowing if I would make it out alive. I honestly don't remember about a four day span because I was so sick and on so many drugs. I eventually woke up scared, angry, and lifeless. I couldn't talk or move. I didn't even remember why I was there. I eventually learned to talk, but with in days I had to have another surgery because I aspirated most of what I swallowed. They put in a feeding tube so I could eat right. That was expected because they told me that for years. But the final blow came about a week later. They came and said that its possible that infection from my teeth could have drained down into my lungs and they want me to have surgery to pull out my teeth. It was devastating. I understand my teeth were in bad shape but I did not want them to do it. I was already connected to a machine full time and I just wanted some dignity. But the teeth came out. Every single one. It was a hard time, I was in so much pain physically and emotionally. Three surgeries in a row is tough. It was a few days until I could talk. I tried praying and worshiping but my heart felt so tired and hard. Everyday since I was nine-teen I wake up every morning and sing my mom a short song. I made it up myself, it goes “my beautiful, beautiful, Mommy.” I sing that to a tune from “Mr. Holland's Opus.” I do it so everyday my Mom knows how beautiful and special she is. I sang it in the hospital very weakly and she just held me and cried. It was then I knew I would be okay. Her compassion broke through my pain replacing it with love and hope. It was the perfect representation of my Father, my God. God was there the whole time crying. He was hurt more than I was by what happened to me. He kept me alive through His compassion. He came near.

I'm here a year later and I'm still on a vent full time. I have no teeth and eat through my gtube. People ask me, “Don't you love your vent and being fully ventilated?” I just say its fine. The truth is I am thankful for it, thankful that I'm alive. I'm thankful for my gtube too. But I don't like it. Maybe they ask that to show me a positive. But I look to Jesus for that, I look at the empty tomb. Until I get off my vent and out of my chair I'm living below my birth right as His son. I will not settle for less. God wants me to walk today, not tomorrow, not in a year, and not to wait until Heaven. God is so good. I knew I was getting married but didn't know how. Now I know.

When I'm with my Daddy

"When I'm with my Daddy, my innocence is restored." - Rick Pino

When I listen to those words it makes me so happy. God makes us innocent. The religious culture teaches us that God is a big man in the sky, who is far away and impersonal. He just sits up there and sometimes He gets angry at us for our sin. But the truth is God is madly in love with us, He is our daddy. He sings to us, He shouts joy over us, and dances around us. He meets us where were at.

Bill Johnson says God wants to give us the gift of innocence and adventure, something I ask for daily. People let their sin become bigger than God, and that is never true. While sin is wrong and it causes damage to our relationship with God and the ones we love, Gods focus is never sin. His focus is always on us. Lets say Adam sleeps with Carol before marriage. Adam spends his days crying and asking for forgiveness, feeling shame, guilt, and sorrow. But Carol realizes what she has done was wrong. She doesn't allow herself to feel guilt and shame. She gets alone with her Daddy, deciding she wants to change. She decides to never give up her virginity until marriage. She encounters her Daddy, and He pours His extravagant love on her. He restores her innocence and virginity. She can go now with the sin erased from her life, she is a virgin once again. Thats how powerful and good our Daddy is, and how not powerful sin is. Sorrow, tears, and remorse are okay as long as you ask for repentance. Repentance means to change the way we think, to basically turn the other way. But guilt and shame are not from God, it only brings condemnation. God sees, and wants us to see, that we have never sinned with the blood of Jesus. It is illegal to bring up sin in our past that God has already dealt with. Our Daddy is so good!

I am so thankful that my Daddy is in love with me!

speaking into our lives

Eric and Tami Taylor are fictional characters on "Friday Night Lights" but they are very real to me. I just finished season one and was greatly effected. It is a profound series about a small town in Texas that revolves around their families, religion, and most of all the high school football team. While I am not a big football fan, I love the show. It is about so much more than football. It deals with real people in real situations, it is compelling, heart breaking, and authentic. The heart of the show is Eric and Tami Taylor. He is the football coach and she is a high school counselor. They represent a real and true love to every kid on that show. While they are not perfect, it is an amazing representation of marriage. One that I look at and can pray and think "that's what I want!"

I believe the most important people in every persons life, young and old, are parents. The only person that should become more important is Jesus,and after that are spouse and kids. But especially growing up a mother and father are the most important and influential. A mother and father shows us God, love, protection, trust, joy, forgiveness, courage, hope, faith, honor, and are an example of how to live. Without a mother and father children can become afraid, bitter, angry, hateful, full of despair, and so on. But I would suggest parents can not do it alone. We were built to be surrounded by family and community, something this show demonstrates so powerfully. The Taylor's are there to not to replace parents, but to support them. To just be there. To just love them. I am convinced I have the greatest parents in the world, but I also have the best, what I call, spiritual parents. I could not live with one or the other.

Lets honor the people who speak into our lives through their words, actions, and examples. And check out Friday Night Lights!

Walking, Leaping, and Praising God!

Now Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms from those who entered the temple; who, seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for alms. And fixing his eyes on him, with John, Peter said, “Look at us.” So he gave them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” And he took him by the right hand and lifted him up, and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. So he, leaping up, stood and walked and entered the temple with them—walking, leaping, and praising God.

-Acts 3:1-8

I first heard this verse about four years ago. Mike Prentice read it aloud as we were worshipping and preparing to pray for my miracle for the very first time. It struck my heart and it came alive to me immediately. It came alive for obvious reasons, Peter and John heal a man who was lame from his mothers womb, which is me. But it also came alive for less obvious reasons. Little did I know how much it would mean to me. Obviously I was not healed that day, or any time since that day. But I can always turn to this verse for encouragement. The days following the day I heard this verse the Lord began telling me He wants to heal all of me. He wants to heal me physically but He also wants to heal my soul and my spirit. It was very clear to me. Jesus heals with power and wisdom. Pastor Kris Vallotton received insight and revelation into these verses, and I am going to put it in my own words.

Peter and John had no money. But they did have power and authority. It is just like real currency, they had faith that this man could walk for the very first time. This is what lead to his sozo. Sozo is the greek word for healing, wholeness, recovery and salvation. When Jesus used the word He was not talking about short-term solutions but long-term restorations. It means to be fully saved, healed, and delivered in the spirit, soul, and body. The first thing the man does is walk, he is physically healed. This man is able to walk for the first time because of Peter and John's currency!

The next thing it says is the man leaps. It was not obvious to me why this is significant. Pastor Kris says there is no wasted word in the Bible, every word is an invitation for revelation. He also says the man leaps because at the same time he was healed in his body, he was also healed in his soul. The way I see it is the man was so filled with joy that he had to leap. The joy he had caused his leaping which broke away every chain that was hindering his soul. The healing of the soul is just as important as the salvation. It is possible to be saved without being healed. It is not to say the man or myself is depressed. I experience a lot of joy on a daily basis. But I would be lying if I told you my disease has no effect on me on some days. God is so good that He cares enough to make our soul alive to Him.

And finally the man praises God. This is evidence that he was healed in his spirit. In the Bible it says disease is to your body what sin is to your soul. If I leave sin in my life it hardens my heart. It makes it much harder sometimes to know and be in His presence. I would suggest if disease goes on without taking it to God daily it has the same effect. Some people blame God for their disease and they become bitter. Others think God gave them a disease to make them a better person or some other reason they do not understand. Both are wrong and stupid. I have found the best way to deal and keep my spirit healthy is praising God. I stay thankful no matter what I face without thinking of stupid reasons of why I am not walking yet.

I had no idea how much this verse really spoke into my life when I first heard it. God wants to heal all of us! Yay God!

inspired by "Julie & Julia"

Yesterday I went to go see “Julie & Julia” with my mom. It was a great movie. It was funny, romantic, and inspirational. It focused a lot about cooking and writing, two things I am passionate about. They both bring me joy and heart ache. I am really grateful for my blog. When I write in it I feel as though it is more for me than anyone else. Just as Julie Powell aspired to be a writer, she turned to her blog. My dream is to be a writer, to share my life, and to hopefully show people who Jesus really is.

I start fresh today. So often I do not write because I think I have nothing to say. And to be honest I really do not enjoy it, that is the heart ache. I write because it is hands down the easiest and best way I express myself. God has told me to write a book. And it is the most common prophetic word I receive. It brings me joy to share, and to know I am stepping into my destiny. Every person has a story to tell. For the most part I love talking about myself, and it is easy for me. Writing this book is an adventure because I am living it out.

Cooking is a huge joy to me. I absolutely love it. The heart ache comes because for now I can’t do it myself and I am not able to eat. But I believe I will be able to. When I walk I will make the most amazing meal for my family, I can not wait. My other dream is to have a resort with some of the best food in the world.

Pray that I persevere. That I love, laugh, dream, risk all, write, and cook.

be still

"Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)


I love this verse. It is so simple and profound. Yet so often I am not still. Time is the most valuable thing to God, and certainly to a lot of people too, including myself. So many Christians like myself do Bible study, go to church, stays out of sin, mission trips, and the list can go on forever. While those things are important and needed, God aches and longs for us to come into His throne room to be with Him.

At some point everyone likes to be with someone, they need and want a connection. The most profound experiences I have with people is not watching tv, movies, sports, video games, and so on, but they are when we make a heart to heart connection. To really know a person takes a lot of effort and time. Staying up all night talking, sharing a meal, worship and prayer, and simply just being together. It is a time for healing, because when your with someone I believe the person your with releases life to you. I have experienced this first hand. When laying in the hospital and I feel like crap, it literally makes me feel better when someone sits with me. If I am struggling with something, being with someone makes me better. I know everyone has experienced this, but for some reason it is not always easy. I have found it is easier to stay busy, to have activities and go out and about. Those things are ok to do, and I love to do all those things, but if it happens a lot, it is easy to fall into a place where it gets harder to share and just be. Sometimes not doing those things can be very awkward. It is difficult to share your dreams, desires, thoughts, and feelings. And finally with so much to do people get bored with nothing to do.

Being in Gods throne room means to be with him. God is madly in love with us and all He wants is us. Early in my walk with God it did not occur to me being with God is important. Reading the Bible can teach you about God, which is important, because He says He is the word. But for so long it was just words. Yes I believed it, but it was mostly confusing and uninteresting. But being with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit and feeling their presence you get to know them as different persons. They become alive and they make the Bible come alive, it is more than just stories. Being with Him is the most exhilarating, intoxicating, peaceful, and lovely thing I've ever felt. God wants to know everything about us. Yes he knows about us, he is God. But to share with Him is a whole other thing, it is being intimate and trusting in Him. And yes it is is difficult because of every reason I already listed. But I challenge myself and my friends to slow down and be with God. I literally have to stop everything I am doing. Bill and Beni Johnson have taught me so much in this area. Sometimes I just sit, or go on a walk, or worship. I will not pray or ask for anything. I just allow His presence to rest on me, to feel His extravagant love! It is important to get used to His presence, to know what it feels like.

As important as knowing your spouse, friends and family is, it is way more important to encounter God! People live without His presence everyday and are very happy and fulfilled. But I would suggest life to the fullest is with God, knowing and being in His presence. And if someone just lives their own experience then they won't know anything else is available. Jesus came to give life to the full!! Lord grant us the grace to slow down, to get to know you. Help us recognize your presence. Lord help us fall in love with you even more!

"No Boundaries" :D

I have not written in so long. I haven't had the energy or will to even start writing about anything. But here I am again, God is so good to me. I'd like to spend some time talking about potential destiny. I believe in destiny, but I also believe you must pursue it. Destiny to the fullest does not come to you. Its not to say part of it will not, but if everyones potential destiny was realized immediately than no one would live in sin, die from disease, or live under torment. I believe with all of my heart that destiny to the fullest is possible. The kind of destiny where wheelchairs aren't needed, where fathers and mothers are in love, and where the unborn are protected.

I think Holy Spirit brought this to my attention while watching American Idol believe it or not. I love that show. This year starting a few weeks back I felt I needed to begin praying for Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. I had many dreams and I think a few insights about what to pray. Then I started remembering back in season six I prayed a lot for Jordin Sparks. I remember seeing part of her destiny. When she sings people will be physically healed, miracles will break out just by the sound she releases. Kris will change people internally, without them really noticing it. He will draw people to our King with or without singing about Him. And Adam will release joy breaking people free of their issues by his sound. I believe this with all my heart. To a certain extent they are doing this. And to a certain extent I am the man I was born to be.

To reach destiny I believe you must pursue the impossible. Pursue real relationships with friends and people who have authority over you. And most importantly pursue Gods presence. His real, raw, tangible presence. Worship our King!

I think I wrote this for myself more than anyone, it feels good to write again. Pray my friends... oh and COME ON KRIS!!!