living with a disability part 2

In my last post I talked about that sometimes people define us by our disabilities and diseases. I think people see a blind girl, or a guy in the wheelchair, and they really don’t know how to connect with us on a heart level. “Sarah, you’re so brave. You deal with your blindness with such a great attitude. You truly inspire me.” A lot of people just leave it at that; they don’t go deeper. They really don't know how to pursue us. I completely understand that our disabilities makes us different, and different can be scary. But other than the things that have to be different, I think most of us want to be treated the same as everyone else. I think a lot of people are afraid to hurt our feelings or offend us. Don’t be. Be real and be you.

I want to encourage everyone who has a disability to step out and get uncomfortable. It’s actually up to us to teach people how to love us, and it’s up to us to make our needs known. A lot of people don’t know how to interact with us and create a personal connection. It’s probably true that a lot of people aren’t willing to create and steward a personal connection, period - regardless if a disability is involved or not. Having a disability is just another hindrance to a real friendship that we have to overcome. We all teach other people how to love and interact with us. If our disability is a big deal to us, then it will be to them. If we make some fun out of everything, so will they. Being in a wheelchair causes some major differences in friendships, from my very best friends to mere acquaintances. I like being real and addressing the very real heartache it creates. But I also love embracing the joy and the adventure in the midst of all the messiness. I do believe I will walk on earth, but I also don’t believe it will be some automatic switch for great friendships. It will certainly make certain things easier, but it will still be messy and difficult. If I don’t do what I can now to have deep connections and real friendships, how can I be trusted to do it when I walk? I would like to suggest that I couldn’t. Having a friendship when I do walk will still be messy, and there will still be heartache. Love suffers long. Friendships are an adventure full of hope, joy, heartache, and love.

I’ve really been learning so much about relationships and friendships. It’s not easy having a life giving friendship. But I truly want to be a great friend. I want to take the risk and love deeply. I want to be a powerful person and manage my heart, so that I can create freedom in my friendships. I want to do life with the people that I love.

living with a disability part 1

I don’t watch it consistently anymore, but I really like the television show SWITCHED AT BIRTH. It’s a family drama that takes on all kinds of issues. One of the main characters is deaf, and she has a lot of deaf friends. I can somewhat relate because I also live with a disability. It’s a good show because it doesn’t stray away from taking an honest look at what it’s like to live with a disability. But I have a big problem with a belief our culture has, and the show gives that belief it’s own platform to be showcased. I used to believe that being in a wheelchair was a good thing. People have great intentions when they say “I’m so happy I’m deaf.” “Being in a wheelchair is who I am and I’m glad I’m not walking.” “My son is autistic for a reason and I don’t want him ‘fixed’.” When we are born with a disability, it naturally becomes a big part of our identity. Those kinds of statements come from a great place in our heart. We try to make the best out of our situations, and we try to own and take pride in who we are. I love that we take hold of our circumstances, but we should not get our identity in the disability we have, and we should never believe we’re meant to be this way. Our culture is mostly past the shaming of kids with special needs, but it’s like we went to the other extreme of the spectrum. We build kids up in the identity of their disability. “Be proud of your blindness and be you.” I would like to suggest that is just as damaging as shame, just in a different way.

I remember writing an email to one of my best friends back in 2004. I was just learning that I wanted to go deeper with my friends than I had been. I was just discovering my personal relationship with Jesus. I wrote him an email about the great things that our friendship can be, mostly because of the disability I had. It’s definitely unique, and I was learning to celebrate the uniqueness of being best friends with someone while having a disability. But I soon began to believe that my friendships were “more” special because I was in a wheelchair. That’s nonsense. It takes vulnerability, freedom, selflessness, and love to have a good friendship. That’s with or without a wheelchair. Yes, my very close friends have to be pretty selfless, and we celebrate and cherish that fact. But that won’t change when I walk. We’re still going to be selfless, and we’re still going to celebrate it.

A lot of people call me wise. They say I’m wise beyond my years, and they mostly attribute that to my perspective on life from being in a wheelchair. It’s true that being in a wheelchair makes me view life in different ways, but it doesn’t make me wise. I have a lot of time to hang out with Jesus, and that’s what gives me wisdom. How do we get faith? Hang out with the one who is faithful. How do we get joy? Hang out with the one who is joyful. It doesn’t take a wheelchair or a disability to have wisdom, faith, and joy. I love everyone who has Down’s Syndrome. They so often teach us about joy and forgiveness. They are truly special people, just as we all are. But they aren’t joyful and forgiving because of Down’s Syndrome, they are because they have been invaded by Jesus. When the Kingdom of Heaven invades and manifests even more, they won’t have Down’s Syndrome - and they will be even MORE joyful, forgiving, and loving. God never gives anyone Down’s Syndrome. Bill Johnson says it best, “God can’t give you what He doesn’t have.” Disabilities are not in Heaven, and they’re not in His nature. I’m excited for the day when we consistently see it healed. Please don’t misunderstand me. I love all people, but I hate disease and disabilities. I have a great reliance on Father, I know that every breath comes from Him. My lungs are currently not as healthy as they should be. I understand the value of every breath. But guess what? Every breath will still be from Him when I have perfectly healthy lungs! Let’s stop the stupidity of elevating disease and disabilities.

We must create a shift in our culture. I’m a son of God. I’m powerful and free and full of life. I’m completely healed, but I’m having a wheelchair and ventilator experience. I will receive the things that God does inside of me through my disease. I will celebrate the uniqueness of my situation while having a great attitude. But I will NOT have my identity as a dude in a wheelchair. This disease was NEVER God’s plan or will. I’m loving, courageous, insightful, wise, and a pretty good listener. All that is because God is SO big and SO good He uses horrible diseases for His and our good. It is NOT because I’m in a wheelchair. I’m not special because I’m in a wheelchair, I’m special because I’m Zachary Daniel Beach. I’m powerful and I’m learning to live in the utter bliss and affection of Jesus. That won’t change when I walk.