living out our full inheritance part 2

"He brought me to the wine chamber and placed His banner of love over me." Song of Solomon 2:4

I believe the best part of our inheritance is we get to live in perfect intimate union with Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. That’s really wild when you think about it. I was co-buried and co-risen with Jesus (see Romans 6). All the affection and love and joy and freedom that Father has for Jesus is mine. Their perfect love is mine. There is no separation between me and the Trinity. It’s all of me covered by all of them. Everything He did for us was for relationship.

I love to worship. I love to sing as loud as I can. I love to laugh. I laugh a lot. I love dancing with Jesus! We party together a lot. Did you know that all my singing, laughing, and dancing is in response to Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit? He is the one singing, laughing, and dancing over me! That’s wild. His pleasure and affection and passion for me knows no limits! Worship is the most natural response to His unfailing love. I’m not saying that I feel His presence every minute of the day, because I don’t. But it’s happening more and more. Even when I don’t feel His presence, I still worship. He’s so good and worthy of all my praise. Father is constantly throwing a party for me. It’s my job to say yes to His party. I love drinking deeply of the pleasures He has for me. God is most glorified when I am most satisfied in Him.

I love being a friend of God. Living in perfect union demands trust. I must trust God, and I want Him to be able to trust me. I’m learning to trust Jesus like never before. I must value His presence above everything else. I want to spend time with Him because He wants to spend time with me. Our friendship is worth everything to Him. Sometimes I have visions of us eating together. He simply loves being with me, and it’s my job to honor that. I love being with Him. I want Him to be able to trust me with His presence wherever I go. I want Him to be able to trust me with His secrets, love, heart, joy, revelation, and wisdom. I trust Him with my heart. I cry with Him and pour my soul out to Him, which can be scary and painful. But He’s so tender and so loving. He loves to shower me with kisses.

Father we thank you that we’re living in perfect union with you, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. We ask for a revelation of the love and pleasure you have for us. We trust you completely. We say yes to to your party. We want to be inebriated with your intoxicating grace. The storehouses of Heaven are ours to feast on. We value you. Thank you. You’re so very good.

living out our full inheritance part 1

I don’t know about you, but I want my full inheritance as a son of God. A better way to say that: I want to live out the inheritance that is already mine from a good, good Father. Our full inheritance is available to us right now. I want to see more of it manifested here on earth every day. Heaven will be such an adventure that we’ll be discovering new things everyday. The presence and glory of God is so outrageous and vast that throughout eternity we’ll constantly be discovering His presence in new ways. I want that adventure to start now. What does that look like? How do we live that out? I’m going to write a series of blog posts so I can go in more detail. But here are some general thoughts. I believe our inheritance can be boiled down to three major areas in our life.  

I live in perfect intimate union with Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit.

I am saved, healed, and delivered.

My relationships are full of love and freedom.

I will share my thoughts about each one to the best of my ability. Not all of these are manifested in my life right now, but I’m on the adventure of that happening. I don’t have to wait until Heaven to experience them.  Like I said, even in Heaven, we'll be unpacking the victory Jesus has accomplished for us. That's really fun! Being a bored believer is definitely an oxymoron. It is a complete gift to us. We get to partner with God and unwrap the gift He has given us.

Father you're so good! We want to rise up as your sons and daughters and live out the inheritance you provided. We love you!

worthy of love

I’ve had to learn to receive love. A lot of people have a hard time receiving love. People are constantly laying down their life for me. I require constant care. It takes a lot to be my friend. My best friends pray with me, pursue my heart, worship with me, listen to me, party with me, go crazy, and love me deeply. But on top of that, they have to clean out my lungs, pick me up, help me stretch, roll me over at night, help me drive, wipe my butt, feed me, dress me, and countless other things. Sometimes it really breaks my heart that I can’t love them in the same ways. I will pursue their hearts and fight for them, and I will love them deeply. But if my friends are having a hard time, I can’t go give them a hug and just be with them. They have to come to me. Always. That’s very painful. It’s worse than any health thing I’ve ever dealt with. Because of that, I’ve had to learn to receive love. I’m getting to the point where I know how worthy I am of such incredible love.

It’s a great picture of the love Jesus has for us. My circumstances require my friends to lay down their life for me, they require us to be vulnerable and intimate, and they ignite my passion to relentlessly pursue their heart. I used to believe I was in a wheelchair for stuff like this. So often friendships lack selflessness, vulnerability, intimacy, passion, and deep love. My circumstances demand a lot of that from the get go. But that’s not why I’m not walking. My friendships are unique and powerful, but not because I’m in a wheelchair. Love suffers long. It hurts to love. It takes great courage to love deeply. My friends love me deeply in spite of my circumstances. When I do walk, that won’t change. Do you know how worthy you are of love? I am so worthy of outrageous love. So are you. I haven’t done anything to be worthy of love, I was just born. Papa God fashioned me to love me. He made me because He thought I might be fun to hang out with. He was right!!! I love hanging out with Him because He loved hanging out with me first. Thank you to my family and friends. You have shown me how worthy I am. Lets all lay down our lives for one another. Be brave. We’re worth it. Learn to receive love by hanging out with Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit.

a new kind of worry

“Worry is imagining your life without God and His goodness.” -Wendy Backlund.

 I love this quote for so many reasons. We should never imagine our life a part from God. Sometimes I partner with fear and I get anxious. A common fear I have is about getting married. I will not get married until I walk, for many reasons. I want to do life with God’s greatest creation. I want to pursue Jesus with her. I want to pursue her heart and love her. I want to help awaken her dreams and passions. I want to bring Heaven to earth with her. I want to have sex with her. I want to have kids and have a family. A family of worshipers who live for His tangible presence above everything else. We will help transform our city. I get discouraged because I imagine my life without God and His goodness. If I had my way, I would have been married at 18. I’m now 28. One by one, I’ve seen incredible girls get married. Some of them I have thought I could get to know and marry them. But there have been many other girls where I’ve had very strong feelings for them. It can be very painful and discouraging. Sometimes I wrongly think that every girl will already be taken. I get anxious because I think time is running out. I don’t want to be 56 when my kids are 18. Sometimes I really freak out. What if I never walk, and never get married? What if I do walk and I’m not supposed to get married? It’s all about trust and not partnering with fear. I must stop imagining my life without Jesus. Father has the best plan for me. It’s impossible to out imagine His goodness. Lets try worrying a different way. What if the power of God is so strong on my family, that we just leak His victory wherever we go? What if the girl of my dreams is waiting for me and I find her at just the right time? What if our marriage is so free and alive that other couples are knocking down our door because they want what we have? What if I get to travel the world and see countless people get out of their wheelchairs? What if I get to make my parents dinner, and it tastes so good they want me to do it every night? What if Holy Spirit rests in my house in such a powerful way that I won’t be able to move for days? It’s a lot more fun to imagine our lives with the goodness of God involved. Our “problems” become much more fun. But it’s not just about having fun. His thoughts and His reality are the truest thing about our current circumstances and our future. Lets repent for imagining our lives without God and His goodness. Repentance means changing the way I think. It means to think like God.

my cousins Ryan and Ronnie

My cousins Ryan and Ronnie had a big impact on my life at a very young age. Ryan is two years older than me, and Ronnie is two months older. Like most younger cousins I totally looked up to them. I wanted to dress like them, watch the movies they watched, play the games they played, and overall wanted to be just like them. I will forever be grateful for the time we spent together. We spent a lot of time playing video games together. We played lots of different ones, but my favorite were the ones that had anything to do with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. For the most part me and Ryan would play together, and then Michael and Ron would play together. We would always watch each team play. It was so fun. We would walk to the video store and we would rent a PG-13 or R movie. I felt SO COOL. When they spent the night, or I spent the night there, me and Ryan usually ended up bunking together. One time a babysitter had just put me to bed, and me and Ryan could not fall asleep. I admitted to him I had a huge crush on her and wanted to get back up to be around her. This is pretty hilarious. Ryan got up and told her that I was hungry and that she needed to feed me. So about a half hour after the whole process of putting me to bed, she got me back up. Poor girl. I ate two slices of pizza as slowly as possible. Me and Ryan just hung out with her and ate pizza for an hour. It was amazing. The four of us would play Monopoly all night long. As we got a little older Goldeneye and Mario Kart were our games of choice. For a long time Dad wouldn't let me and Michael have our own Nintendo, so it was such a treat when Ryan and Ronnie brought theirs. I'm so thankful to both of our parents for making it a priority for us to hang out. We hung out and I loved it. I don't really have to much of a spiritual point. When I was with them my heart awakened. As a young kid I was sick a lot, but I pretty much forgot that when I was around them. I was a normal boy hanging out with my cousins. It is my opinion that extra hour of eating pizza with Ryan and our babysitter was more valuable than a years worth of medicine. I got to live outside of my circumstances and be a regular seven year old boy. Ryan and Ronnie, I love you. Thank you. Thank you to my parents and my Aunt Rita and Uncle Keith. You made me healthier. You loved me deeply.

from defeat to victory

Our greatest defeats will become our biggest victory. How great is Jesus? I have Spinal Muscular Atrophy and I have never walked. In 2008 I got so sick I had to be put on a ventilator for breathing assistance 24/7. Father's plan was for me to be born completely healthy and walking. It's how He sees me right now. However, I was born with SMA. So what's God's plan for me? I get to glorify Jesus by walking and bringing everyone out of their wheelchairs and off their ventilators. Sounds kind of crazy and literally impossible, right? If God's plans for you doesn't involve the impossible bowing to His name, then I don't think you're fully grasping His ways. Jesus healed everyone when He died and rose from the dead. It's our privilege as His kids and friends to say "YES" to His victory and see it manifested here on earth. That just really excites me. Growing up with SMA I was extremely scared of thunderstorms and tornadoes. I think a lot of kids are but I felt helpless even around my family. I would spend countless hours watching The Weather Channel. I felt completely helpless because I couldn't run to the basement or any other place to feel safe. It was pretty irrational but it felt very real and true to me. God has reversed one of my biggest fears into one of my biggest victories. Put me in front of a tornado and I have great faith and confidence I can command it to dissipate. I'm not saying I can control all weather, otherwise we would not be having this horrible winter. But I have complete faith I can command peace to any destructive weather in front of me. It's an unusual faith that only comes from having victory in the very place of one of my biggest fears. It's not a victory that I have attained, but it comes from complete trust and rest in the one who is Victorious. It is my privilege and responsibility to manifest His victory. I believe Holy Spirit intends the same thing for me when it comes to wheelchairs and ventilators. I pray for everyone who is sick, no matter what is ailing them. But I do believe I have a grace to see people walk for the first time. It hasn't happened yet, but it will. Are/were you depressed? God will give you an extreme grace to bring people out of depression and into great joy. Do/did you have cancer? Pray for everyone with the same kind of cancer and see breakthrough manifest. Are/were you totally broke? Pray for others who are broke and watch the cash flow. What has been the hardest part of your life? Ask Jesus what He thinks about your situation. He will use our greatest weakness and reverse it to our greatest victory. He is that good! He loves revealing His goodness to us, especially in the ways we most hurt. Jesus reveal the pleasure and passion you have for each of us. Show us the ways of your Kingdom. We love you!!!!!

my new friend Jordan

I want to let you know about my new friend Jordan Stroman. She's a beautiful and courageous daughter of the King. She is in a wheelchair full time and also uses breathing equipment that is probably similar to my ventilator. God put it in her heart to go to San Diego for the Storyline conference with Donald Miller. Her Mom and a few of her friends are taking her, and they are also filming a documentary about traveling with our kind of circumstances. It sucks. I'm most comfortable in my wheelchair and bed, and no where else. I think it's great to raise awareness with the airlines and the public at large. She has a Kickstarter here and I want you to watch her video. Let her love and courage sink in. Her beauty and passion are contagious. Lets bless her and pour into her with our prayers and money. They have already met their goal in one day, but His Kingdom is made of excess! I love that she's doing this. Words can't describe what it feels like when our friends lay down their lives for us and make our true reality manifested. When they say it doesn't matter what our circumstances are. I'm so thankful for every friend who has laid down their life for me. My brother Michael, Joel, Garrett, Brittnee, Carrie, Mike Schmidtke, Jake Pelican, Kevin Lyke, Dan Wilcox, Jeff Stall, Michael Prentice, Steve Nelson, Andrew Nelson, Bryan Hamilton, David & Sarah Reeves, Betsy Larder, Toth Family and Ministries, David D'Louhy, Allan Logan, Joseph Payne, Erica Gismegian, and countless others. You remind me of who I am. Our all night talks. Walking to the video store. Our crazy adventures to California and Florida. When you pursue my heart. Singing and praying over me for His victory to manifest in my body. Crazy man parties where I pretty much forgot I was in a wheelchair. The nights of rolling me over and cleaning out my lungs to help me breathe. Your hugs and kisses. Worshiping with me. Playing video games all night long. Listening to my heart and crying with me. Our walks to Busch's for delicious potato skins. Crazy dance parties. God sees me as His son, totally restored and healed. Before it has manifested here on earth, you have helped me live out my true reality. You said screw you to my circumstances and loved me deeply. Your love and service called out my destiny. It ignites my heart. I love you and thank you. Father I thank you for your extravagance! Thank you for my new friend Jordan. Bless her wildly! Thank you for her friends! Thank you for giving her courage and determination to follow her heart, no matter how difficult. Thank you for healing her, and I command it to manifest now! I command her body to align with heaven. Bless her movie. I release favor so that it will be seen by every CEO of every airline. Let her courage be heard. Pursue her and encounter her in California. Talk to her of her dreams, desires, and destiny. Wow! You're such a good Daddy! Here is Jordan's personal blog. Give her money here.