a new kind of worry

“Worry is imagining your life without God and His goodness.” -Wendy Backlund.

 I love this quote for so many reasons. We should never imagine our life a part from God. Sometimes I partner with fear and I get anxious. A common fear I have is about getting married. I will not get married until I walk, for many reasons. I want to do life with God’s greatest creation. I want to pursue Jesus with her. I want to pursue her heart and love her. I want to help awaken her dreams and passions. I want to bring Heaven to earth with her. I want to have sex with her. I want to have kids and have a family. A family of worshipers who live for His tangible presence above everything else. We will help transform our city. I get discouraged because I imagine my life without God and His goodness. If I had my way, I would have been married at 18. I’m now 28. One by one, I’ve seen incredible girls get married. Some of them I have thought I could get to know and marry them. But there have been many other girls where I’ve had very strong feelings for them. It can be very painful and discouraging. Sometimes I wrongly think that every girl will already be taken. I get anxious because I think time is running out. I don’t want to be 56 when my kids are 18. Sometimes I really freak out. What if I never walk, and never get married? What if I do walk and I’m not supposed to get married? It’s all about trust and not partnering with fear. I must stop imagining my life without Jesus. Father has the best plan for me. It’s impossible to out imagine His goodness. Lets try worrying a different way. What if the power of God is so strong on my family, that we just leak His victory wherever we go? What if the girl of my dreams is waiting for me and I find her at just the right time? What if our marriage is so free and alive that other couples are knocking down our door because they want what we have? What if I get to travel the world and see countless people get out of their wheelchairs? What if I get to make my parents dinner, and it tastes so good they want me to do it every night? What if Holy Spirit rests in my house in such a powerful way that I won’t be able to move for days? It’s a lot more fun to imagine our lives with the goodness of God involved. Our “problems” become much more fun. But it’s not just about having fun. His thoughts and His reality are the truest thing about our current circumstances and our future. Lets repent for imagining our lives without God and His goodness. Repentance means changing the way I think. It means to think like God.