living with a disability part 2

In my last post I talked about that sometimes people define us by our disabilities and diseases. I think people see a blind girl, or a guy in the wheelchair, and they really don’t know how to connect with us on a heart level. “Sarah, you’re so brave. You deal with your blindness with such a great attitude. You truly inspire me.” A lot of people just leave it at that; they don’t go deeper. They really don't know how to pursue us. I completely understand that our disabilities makes us different, and different can be scary. But other than the things that have to be different, I think most of us want to be treated the same as everyone else. I think a lot of people are afraid to hurt our feelings or offend us. Don’t be. Be real and be you.

I want to encourage everyone who has a disability to step out and get uncomfortable. It’s actually up to us to teach people how to love us, and it’s up to us to make our needs known. A lot of people don’t know how to interact with us and create a personal connection. It’s probably true that a lot of people aren’t willing to create and steward a personal connection, period - regardless if a disability is involved or not. Having a disability is just another hindrance to a real friendship that we have to overcome. We all teach other people how to love and interact with us. If our disability is a big deal to us, then it will be to them. If we make some fun out of everything, so will they. Being in a wheelchair causes some major differences in friendships, from my very best friends to mere acquaintances. I like being real and addressing the very real heartache it creates. But I also love embracing the joy and the adventure in the midst of all the messiness. I do believe I will walk on earth, but I also don’t believe it will be some automatic switch for great friendships. It will certainly make certain things easier, but it will still be messy and difficult. If I don’t do what I can now to have deep connections and real friendships, how can I be trusted to do it when I walk? I would like to suggest that I couldn’t. Having a friendship when I do walk will still be messy, and there will still be heartache. Love suffers long. Friendships are an adventure full of hope, joy, heartache, and love.

I’ve really been learning so much about relationships and friendships. It’s not easy having a life giving friendship. But I truly want to be a great friend. I want to take the risk and love deeply. I want to be a powerful person and manage my heart, so that I can create freedom in my friendships. I want to do life with the people that I love.