an empty wheelchair

enjoy

2010-11-18T12:48:00.000-05:00

A few years ago I went up north with a few of my friends and his family. It was a super awesome time. I love getting to know all my friends families. It can tell us so much about a person. We were having a delicious dinner one night and sharing our hearts. We had a whole conversation about families and what their full potential is. It was truly an awesome time. I felt something being birth in the spirit realm, and my Daddy would always encourage me to cultivate it. We talked about husbands and wives truly loving each other. Families who really love and enjoy one another is the essence of His Kingdom. I know I say this a lot but we need to grasp this truth. If we don't understand that God is a good Daddy, then we will never live out our full destiny. I was born to heal the sick, raise the dead, and bring freedom to broken hearts. Without a strong connection to my Daddy that just seems impossible. But our families and Daddy are not a means to an end. Why do we heal the sick and raise the dead? It brings Him glory. And if you pull into a fatal car accident and raise somebody from the dead, their loved ones will have no doubt God showed up. His goodness gets peoples attention. But the most simple and basic reason we do it is love. I think I try to justify all the reasons my miracle would be a good thing. My parents would have more time for themselves and each other, I could help around the house, I could actually make my own income, I could seriously pursue a beautiful girl, and even learn to drive a car. Daddy wants and likes all those things. But the biggest reason He wants me to walk is simple, He loves me. He actually enjoys me. He wants to run with me and play with me. He wants to share His desires, dreams, and pleasures with me. Whoa! Doesn't that rock you? That kind of ecstasy and intimacy should overflow into our family. We should like being with our family. We're alive to love.

roar with me

2010-09-08T15:00:00.001-04:00

Bob Jones is a father to many, and an extraordinary prophet. He gave an incredible word about the upcoming year, which starts this week. The Jewish new year starts this week, and he says they borrowed Gods calendar. He says the new year is the year of the lion. 2009 was the year of the ox, when we plowed our seed. 2010 was the year of the eagle, so we could see where to put our seed. And 2011 will be when mothers and fathers arise to roar to take our land back. I mean, that just makes me giddy. I definitely receive that word! I have a lot of things I want back that was originally mine, so I wrote a few of them down. If you want me to pray for you because something has been stolen, write a comment or send me an email. I would appreciate your prayers as well. It’s time for justice to be brought. Father we receive your word, bring a new level of authority as we roar!

I want to continually fall more in love with Jesus.

I want to walk.

I want justice for my parents to come NOW! I want them to be able to sleep all night, go on vacations, have dates, and I want them to be able to pursue each other to the fullest.

I want to see Laura walk, run, dance, and sing.

I want to pursue my future wife, and love her as a daughter of the King.

I want my generation to fall head over heels in love with Daddy! I want us to honor our mothers and fathers. I want us to know the heartbeat of our Daddy, and to go after it as laid down lovers.

I want us to know and remember what holds us together. Family holds us together. We must be willing to do whatever it takes to protect that.

It’s time for the economy to stop ruling the hearts and minds of so many people. Lets take authority. We need to stop listening to fear, and stop looking to our government. It’s not their job. We break this with generosity. Our Daddy is the richest guy in the world!!!!!!!!!

I want fire and revival to fall on this generation. We must take a stand against ALL sin, disease, and torment. On earth as in Heaven.

a lover first

2010-08-31T14:58:00.001-04:00

“God is a lover, looking for a lover… so He fashioned me…”

I was worshiping once, and suddenly I had a vision of me sitting in a chair. Right in front of me was Jesus sitting in another chair. We were basically just hanging out like friends. This vision was very profound to me. I immediately began to cry. Sometimes it’s really hard to imagine being friends with Jesus. As Christians we constantly are trying to honor Him, to carry out His righteousness and justice, and to love others well. It’s so easy to go to church, do Bible study, have a small group, heal the sick, serve the poor, and feel like we are loving God well. But are we? He absolutely commands us to do those things. But we should do those things from love, not for love. As much as possible I always try to make my friends happy. I like doing activities that will please them. Lets take my Dad for example, we both enjoy talking politics because it’s a mutual interest. But my Mom hates politics, so we talk about cooking, or what it will be like when I get off this ventilator and out of my wheelchair. Therefore it’s important to know what pleases our Father. But that’s only half of any friendship. Father is first and foremost a lover, and so are we. As Christians we need to seek His very face. What does it mean to love someone? It means we would do anything for the person we love, take a bullet, fight for their heart, make them their favorite meal, and give them everything we have and everything we are. But so often we don’t say to love someone means that we want to be with them. And with Holy Spirit sometimes it’s hard to just be with Him. He is a person, and has real emotions.

I challenge all of us to seek His face, to be His friend.

family

2010-05-04T14:56:00.002-04:00

Families are supposed to be free and powerful. They are supposed to be filled with love, joy, compassion, and the presence of God. Heaven is all about relationships. Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit set the standard very high for healthy relationships. Unfortunately so many have relationships that are not healthy, even in families. Family means a lot more than dad, mom, son, and daughter. But lets start here. I believe there is not one wasted word in the Bible. Every word has a purpose and is an invitation to an encounter with the person of Jesus. Throughout the Bible God is constantly bringing up genealogies. He takes the time to write generation after generation. I'll be honest, I skipped a lot of these when reading the Word. But a few days ago I purposely read them, and then I had a revelation of His goodness. God cares more about our families than we do. Whoa! Most families are crippled with sin, disease, torment, poverty, and death. Is that okay with you? Because it's not okay with God. Lets say a Grandfather and Grandmother have twelve grandchildren. They have raised them to be lovers of Jesus. They are blessed by two more, a set of twins. But when they are born they have a heart defect, and they only have days to live. What does this mean? We can blame God and get bitter, but if we really knew Jesus we would know how good He is. We could also thank God, thinking He's teaching a lesson. How many times did Jesus give a disease and tell someone to learn character? Oh right, never. We need to realize disease is sent to destroy family. The Grandma realizes this and heads to her prayer closet. She praises God for His goodness and love, not the disease. This is an attack on her family and generational line. Her grandchildren are her inheritance. She agrees with God, saying this is not allowed. Within hours the doctors are clueless because they are totally healed. Families are destroyed through many other ways. How many times do we hear of a son and dad not talking? And how often do we become passive and take our family for granted? The closer we are to people the greater capacity we have of hurting them.

Danny and Sheri Silk are some of my biggest heroes ever. They devote themselves to see the restoration of all families. Families are made to represent Jesus and His love. There is nothing more powerful than a family that are laid down lovers. There is hope. There is no unforgivable sin. Divorce, adultery, physical or verbal abuse, sexual immorality, and betrayal, are all very hurtful. But as Christians we must always forgive and not stay bitter. We are powerful and free, we always have the choice not to forgive and walk away. But how's that going to work out for you?

a little renaissance to stir the soul

2010-04-24T16:04:00.002-04:00

I was on facebook the other day and I saw a great quote. It said, “I learned everything I need to know from Disney movies.” This made me laugh. I love the classics, they are my most favorite movies. The “Disney Renaissance” is a celebrated time of high quality animated motion pictures. Some would argue how long it lasted, but the general time is 1989-1999. Which is the prime of my youth. These movies were a creative explosion of minds and hearts coming together. They literally helped shape a generation. Movies are powerful, they impart whatever was in the hearts of their maker. Four movies in particular left an imprint on my heart. I've never seen a better movie because I've never received such a strong impartation from other movies.

The Little Mermaid (1989): The part of the movie I want to talk about is when Ariel sings "Part of Your World." Whether the song writer knew it or not, the message of this song is right out of the Bible. Every time I hear it I get tears in my eyes. She starts out the song with how thankful she is for her home and all the things she has. But she quickly moves into how she wants more, she isn't satisfied. She wants to dance and walk on her feet! When I hear that I feel warmth in my soul. I want to dance and walk on my feet! Banning Liebscher, a pastor at Bethel, taught me that I must always stay thankful, and at the same time never be satisfied with what I have. The two go hand in hand. In God there is always more. He values thankfulness, and wants us to stay grounded in that. But He never sets limits for us, we set our own limits.

Beauty and the Beast (1991): Whoa! A movie that moves the heart. This movie shows the power of a curse, and more importantly, the power of love. There was a dream in my spirit for a long time that my soul didn’t really know was there. David had to command his soul to rejoice because it wasn’t as quick as his spirit. I know that to be true in many ways. At the end of Beauty and the Beast there is an amazing scene where Beast is pulled up into the air and is transformed into the prince. At last love conquered the curse and his dream became reality. As a young boy my spirit captured that image and God set it in me. My soul never realized it was there. I never talked of it. I believe the reason why God gave it to me is because God wanted to show my spirit who I am, how He actually views me, and what He wants to do with me. I am that prince and love has conquered this disease. My King conquered every curse. It will be reality on earth. The scene was implanted in my spirit and has never let me go.

Aladdin (1992): This movie showed that I knew I wanted a princess. I believe that Aladdin is one of the most romantic movies ever. I knew I wanted to love well. To love every girl as a beautiful princess. Women are free and powerful. In the movie Jasmine is on the streets and she is trying to stay hidden, she has a hood on. She sees the palace guards capturing Aladdin, and she commands them to let him go. They push her and laugh, saying by who's orders? She stands and removes her veil and says, “by the orders of the princess!” Whoa! The princesses of the world must be unveiled. Creation and mankind are waiting for their orders. Aladdin makes a transformation from pauper to prince. Like most of us he tries to become someone he's not. It's what we do when we don't know our identity. He realizes Prince Ali is just not him, and he gives up hope. He betrays Jasmine's trust by not being himself. Unfortunately like most of us, he sees himself as a pauper and unworthy of love. But he finds out he was born to be a prince. He breaks old mindsets. He is worthy of love and the princess. It's a journey in the depths of his heart.

The Lion King (1994): Mufasa is power. He is so big and strong. He is usurped by Scar in an act of violent love. He gives his life for his son. Scar releases shame and condemnation to Simba. He runs away like so many of us do. He becomes careless and apathetic. He reunites with Nala, and he tells her bad things happen and there's nothing you can do. She responds, “it's your responsibility!” We like to take the responsibility off ourselves. But in fact God left us in charge. We cry out to God for help. I love the secret place, it's a great time to yell, scream, cry, and rejoice. We make an exchange, our stuff for His heart. But we must understand Jesus already defeated everything we face. It's our responsibility to enforce His victory. Mufasa appears to Simba and tells him, “remember who you are.” Simba goes to defeat Scar, taking back his throne. His kingdom is restored.

face to face

2010-04-23T22:03:00.001-04:00

I really can’t wait to be married. It’s such a huge desire of my heart. When I was in high school I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, I was looking for a wife. I’m excited to give everything I have to my wife. I’ve never been married, obviously, but I’ve seen many marriages in action. One of the most important things is to give, give, give, and when I’m sick of giving, I give some more. I’m excited to love her as a daughter of the King, and to fight for her heart. I’m excited to fight along her side, displacing darkness for the Kingdom of our Father. I’m excited to start a family and have children. A family after God’s heart is powerful and is dangerous to darkness. They cultivate the very heart of our Father. More than all of that, I want to know my wife. I’m not going to get married to know about her, but to know her intimately. I plan on actually being with her, and liking it. I want to know what makes her heart beat, what she cries out for when no one is looking. I want to partner with her and God to see her dreams fulfilled. I want to know her so well that I’ll know what she thinks without talking. I believe she is a daughter of the King, and she really is royalty. That’s not a theory, it’s a reality. It’s my privilege and responsibility to know her as she is. And to not live as though it’s a theory.

The same goes with my relationship with Father. I talk a lot on this blog about miracles, signs, and wonders. You will get no apology from me. I want my full inheritance as a son of God. I won’t settle for less. But it’s important to keep the main thing, the main thing. I’m alive to know and love my Father deeply. Even deeper than my wife. People throw a lot of phrases out, including me. “Jesus is the lover my soul.” “I’m an abandoned lover and worshiper of Jesus.” Most of my life these truths have been a theory. But I can honestly say it’s now a reality in my life. People don’t know the extravagant love Father has for us. If people really knew Jesus and His love, people would literally RUN to Him. Most Christians settle for religion. Religion says God is distant and impersonal. We settle for knowing about God. What does your heart cry out for more than anything else? Well I really want to walk. We also want money, blessing, peace, and joy. But more than all that, our hearts ache for love. What in the heck tells us God doesn’t want love even more? Oh right, religion. Father is aching for our love. He is the Lover of all lovers. This is not a theory. Jesus is a person, waiting to be known. He’s longing to know us. I want to know what makes His heart beat, what He cries out for when no one is looking. I want to partner with Him and my wife to see His dreams fulfilled. I want to know Him so well that I’ll know what He thinks without talking. Holy Spirit is my best friend. The love of my life. I live to know my Father face to face.

a superior reality

2010-03-31T15:20:00.000-04:00

I want to finish my story from when I visited California. This story has had a huge impact on me.

Friday was the last day of the conference. It was so awesome. As I said before, the worship is outrageous. Unlike anything else. It literally pulls down Heaven. I got so much prayer that night, from so many different people. David spent a lot of time with me that night. We had a lot of stuff happen in my brain. It was crazy. I’m not sure if it had to do with my SMA, or if it was entirely something else. People kept giving me words about my brain. It felt like electric currents running through my head. David and many other people told me I need to come to the healing rooms bright and early the next day. Healing rooms are a place to go receive your breakthrough. I wanted to go. That night in the hotel was crazy. I was so wired and pumped. I laid down at 2:30 and had to wake up at 6 AM to go to the healing rooms. For three and a half hours I didn’t shut my eyes once. It was wild. Bryan and Steve woke up and we debated going. I was worried because I didn’t sleep at all, I wasn’t sure how I would feel. But I pushed through and went. We got there and Bryan and Steve fell asleep right away. How amazing are they? They gave EVERYTHING to make sure I had the week of my life. I wanted David to pray for me but God put me with a couple I didn’t know. They were incredible. They prayed for the fire of Holy Spirit to come upon me, and I felt it. And then Denise’s sister Amy came and laid hands on me too, and His presence increased on me and in me. The couple told me to close my eyes, and they asked Holy Spirit to show me how He sees me right now. Instantly I saw myself RUNNING in a field, totally healed and free. I just wept. I heard God say, “this is you NOW!” Wow. More than any other time, my miracle became a promise. When people die some say well God just decided not to heal them. How can that be? Jesus bought our healing in His death and resurrection. He put my disease on Him so that I won’t have it. Lets say we buy a truck. We can drive it for ten years, leave it in a garage, burn it, sell it, crash it, or give it away. But we can’t un-buy it. We can’t go back to the dealership and say well I decided I don’t want it. They won’t give us our money back. Just like God can’t take back His payment for our sin, disease, torment, poverty, and death. So many reduce the cross to forgiveness of sin. If that’s all it was, then praise God. Best gift ever! But Jesus told us to repent because the Kingdom of God is at hand. (Matthew 4:17) He also taught us to pray “on earth as in Heaven.” (Matthew 6:10) Heaven is made up of righteousness, peace, and joy. (Romans 14:17) Peace is one of the most pregnant words in the Bible. One meaning is divine health. Divine health is in my inheritance as a son of God. Not to enjoy just when I go to Heaven in 85 years, but it’s available now. Heaven is my destiny, but my assignment is to bring it to earth. I dare you to dream of God’s goodness. Dream your biggest dream and God will still out dream you.

A few months later my friend Denise Gater painted me a picture of my vision. It’s so great. I have it in my room and look at it everyday. Everyone loves it. I would like to suggest to you it’s not just a picture. It came out of an encounter with my loving Daddy, where He spoke to His son. And when Father speaks, His words carry the weight of Heaven. It’s a picture that shows a superior reality of peace invading an inferior reality of disease. In the fall of 2008 the apartments above us burned down. Our ceilings caved in and our home was ruined from water and smoke. But out of the ashes came my picture, untouched and protected by Father. He wanted to remind me that I am His son and we have a good Father. His love never fails.

layla grace

2010-03-10T14:52:00.001-05:00

Tuesday March 9th, 2010 Layla Grace went to Heaven. She has been battling cancer her whole life. A short life of two years. On her parents twitter account they have over 40,000 followers. She has taken this world with her heart. I spent a lot of time genuinely praying for her miracle. But she is dancing with Jesus now.

I want to honor her and her family, so what I’m sharing is from my heart. I will not buy into a theology that says it was Gods will for her to pass today. Cancer is never from God. He hates cancer. He can’t give what He doesn’t have. People often say that God gives cancer to teach people lessons. When did Jesus ever give anyone a disease? He didn’t. Bill Johnson says Jesus Christ is perfect theology. Layla has touched a lot of hearts, including mine. I’m glad she has helped us, she reminds us that our problems aren’t that big compared to the hell they have been through. But God did not put her on this earth to teach us that. She is a daughter of the King. Cancer is illegal. Jesus defeated disease on the cross. Today was not her time to go. I won’t create a theology that says “well it was just Gods plan.” NO! What father among us plans their child’s calamity? Our Heavenly Father only plans our destiny. So why did she die? I don’t know. I do know God is always good. So we wrestle with what we do know, and what we don’t.

God I know you are always good. There is no lack on your part. I will not create a false theology to make myself feel better. I will not give up until all cancer bows to your name. I ask that you would give us grace to go low and serve. I ask that you would fill us with your love. Give us grace to be an extension of your love, a love that heals ALL disease. I ask that as a church you would give us divine justice, a seven times greater authority over cancer. Please give us grace and peace as we grieve her loss, especially Layla’s parents and family. Thank you that she is with you today. You are such a good Daddy. We give it all to you.

when heaven comes down

2010-03-10T14:50:00.000-05:00

“This is what it sounds like when you sing Heavens song, this is it what it feels like when Heaven comes down, this is what it looks like when God is all around….”

In June 2007 I went to visit Redding, CA to go to Bethel Church. I first heard about it in June 2005 from my friends, and I was blown away. Bill Johnson spoke of a good God in a good mood. Their mandate is to bring Heaven to earth. Their number one priority is to love and worship Father. From that place of abandonment they love people. And out of that love they heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out devils, and bind the broken hearts. It’s the normal Christian life. It’s the standard Jesus saved us to live by. I kept listening to their sermons every week and I loved every second of it. So me and Steve Nelson and Bryan Hamilton took off and started our adventure.

I love Redding so much. In June it’s super hot, which I totally love. It’s a beautiful city. We didn’t have a lot of money so we stayed at a Motel 6, but it was rocking. We made it fun. The first morning there we went to IHOP for breakfast. And after we paid Steve realized he had no more money left, and we were going to be there for ten days. It was quite hilarious. We went to Target and bought peanut butter and jelly for the rest of the week. But Denise Gater took care of us, her daughters and sister met us there. It was really fun to go around the city. I heard so many testimonies of miracles on the podcasts, it was so fun to see the different locations they took place in. A few months before, and before I knew I was definitely coming, I sent Bill Johnson a letter. I told him how much he meant to me, what a great impact he has had in my life, and that I’m coming to see him for the conference. I got to Bethel and it’s so beautiful. We registered and there was a huge line to go in the sanctuary. As we were waiting, Deborah Stevens introduces herself, and she said your Zac Beach, we got your letter and have been expecting you. I was so shocked. She gave me a hug, and asked me if I have ever been there. I said no. She then asked me what am I believing God for, and I said I want to walk. She then gave me a hug and said, “Okay I’m believing with you.” I started crying. This lady didn’t know me, but she was investing in me. I’ve never had anyone say to me, your disease is not God’s will, lets believe together for your miracle. I was so honored and loved. We skipped the whole line and she took us to our seats. It was fun to see and meet so many names I knew. Two of Bill’s assistants, Judy and Mary, both came and talked to me. They told me it was such an honor to meet me and read my letter, and that Bill loved it. We met Jamie and Donna Robbins, they pretty much fell in love with me, and me, Steve, and Bryan fell in love with them. They will be in my life forever. Crazy how that happens. Before the conference started, Bill Johnson himself came and met me. I kept thinking holy crap in my head. When I was 19 I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to live. But this man changed my life, he showed me how much Jesus loves me. It was such an honor to meet him. Throughout the week he prayed for me several times. All I can say is wow. The worship there is unlike anything else. God’s presence is so strong. Deborah took me, Steve, and Bryan into a meeting we weren’t supposed to be in. She wanted me to be around the fire of Holy Spirit. What favor! The meeting was outrageous. Everyone was completely drunk on the Holy Ghost. Now this was before I spoke in tongues and before I was used to that kind of encounter, but I was cool with it. But Steve and Bryan had no idea what to think. People were speaking in tongues, laughing wildly, shaking, and falling over. It’s a manifestation of Father’s extravagant joy. It’s like being drunk on joy, the wine of Holy Spirit. And sometimes when God’s power fills you, no matter how hard you try, you can’t contain it. I told Father I want to know Him deeply, and He touched me over and over.

The first or second day we met David and Erica, two ministry students at Bethel. They are so amazing. They basically spent the whole week with me, pursuing me, loving me, and praying for me. They didn’t see me as I was, having a disease and being in a wheelchair, but they saw me as I will be, disease free and walking. I got to know them and build a friendship. It was awesome. Every time they prayed for me I felt fire in my body. A lot of fire. Bill wanted me to get prayer during worship, so David and Erica surrounded me and just loved me. We started singing the chorus to “What Does it Sound Like” by Brian and Jenn Johnson. I started this post with the lyrics. I’ll never forget this. Erica began to cry. She laid her hand on me and said, “Daddy show us what it feels like when Heaven comes down on Zac!” At that instant I saw two huge angels with my physical eyes. They were as real as any person. I just kept worshiping and they began to circle around us over and over. I felt such a hot fire in my spine. I was consumed with Father’s love, I was just weeping. I thought I was going to get out of my wheelchair at that moment. I knew that was Heaven on me. I have more stories, but that’s for later.

More than anything else, people at Bethel want you to take what you learn and what you receive from impartation, and use that to change the world by bringing Heaven to earth. I give my word to honor Bill & Beni Johnson, Kris & Kathy Vallotton, Danny & Sheri Silk, Brian & Jenn Johnson, Kim Walker-Smith, Eric Johnson, Banning Liebscher, Dann Farrelly, Paul & Sue Manwaring, Jason Vallotton, Joaquin Evans, Ben Armstrong, Deborah Stevens, Judy Franklin, Mary Walker, David D’Louhy, Sarah Beni, Erica Gismegian, Allan Logan, and Joseph Payne. And most of all my parents, Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. I bring Heaven to earth!

Daddy show us what it feels like when Heaven comes down!

some eat meat, but others don't

2010-03-10T14:48:00.000-05:00

I spend a lot of time dreaming with God when I’m awake. I just let Him take over my mind. I will act out situations that I was born to do. I dream of people instantly getting off of ventilators and out of their wheelchairs when the power of God hits them. People who have never walked in their entire life. I dream that I literally empty Mott’s Children Hospital here in Ann Arbor. I’ll think about pulling into an automobile accident where someone has died. I start worshiping my Father because He is ALWAYS GOOD! I release Heaven into the situation, and then Holy Spirit comes with life! The person has been raised from the dead, breathing new life again! I think about my first day walking and what that will be like. I’m going to go super crazy and dance and worship all day. I’m pretty sure I won’t stop hugging and kissing my family and friends. I think about how I’m always going to be giving. My parents, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends have been selfless my entire life. They give everything so that I can live. I want to spend my life giving back to them. I want to invest in them and give them everything I have. I can’t wait to cook my Mom dinner, or to drive to see my grandparents just to pursue and honor them, or to go on vacation with my friends without needing care from them. I think about falling in love with my future wife, pursing her, loving her as a daughter of the King, and fighting for her heart. I will treasure her and I will give and give and give and give and give, and when I’m tired of giving, I’ll give some more. I think about starting a family with her, having sons and daughters and being so blessed. I want to build an inheritance for my children’s children’s children. They will be in perfect intimacy with Father, and they won’t know disease, addiction, immorality, poverty, or death. But most of all, I think about being an abandoned radical lover of Jesus. He is the love of my life, He is why everything above is possible. I think about spending hours in His presence just worshiping Him. Without deep and real intimacy with my Father, my life isn’t worth living. I want to obey His every word and be completely yielded to Him. It’s going to cost me. I would like to suggest to you that if I’m not paying that cost now, my Father can’t trust me to do it when I walk. It’s embarrassing to talk about the cost of revival. Christianity is not a message of sacrifice, it’s about hope, love, faith, and abundance. But there is no doubt that it requires sacrifice to obtain the impossible. God requires our full hearts and nothing less. He wants all of us. But when we do that, God gives back a hundred times over.

He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God – Romans 14:6

Many Christians live with sin management, or they often live in legalism. But Christianity is actually a culture of grace, it’s rooted in a relationship with a loving Father. A culture of grace is actually more demanding than a culture of law. We have a personal responsibility to live a life abandoned to our Father. It’s why I’m giving up all television and movies. I have really felt Father asking me to do this for quite some time, but I’m finally listening and obeying. Like the verse says, some eat meat, but others don’t. Eating meat isn’t a sin, but our relationship with our Father demands certain things. For me, I’m not supposed to be watching television or movies. Watching television is not a sin, but since God told me not to, it is for me personally. There are many people that can have real intimacy with God and still watch television, but I’m not one of them. For some, it might be that God tells you to not have alcohol, or certain foods, but those issues don’t effect everyone. It’s all about the heart.

I’m saying to my Father that I will give Him everything. At any cost God, you can have it all. There is nothing more important than my intimacy with Him.

honoring our medical community

2010-03-10T14:47:00.000-05:00

I talk a lot on this blog about God and His supernatural power. It’s a big part of my life. I’m in a need of a miracle, so many people are. But I want to take a minute and honor the medical community. If it wasn’t for doctors, nurses, scientists, and inventors I would have been dead long ago. I’ll be the first to admit that I hate every machine I use, from my vent to my wheelchair. I wasn’t born to need them. But I am thankful for them. They keep me alive and allow me to have a life. I’ve gone to the University of Michigan my whole life for health care, they have been amazing. Their selflessness is beyond what most people give. There are doctors, nurses, technicians, respiratory therapists, and countless others who work their butts off so that I can live a better life. Please stand with me to honor and bless them!

Father I ask that you would encounter every medical professional with your love. Show them how much you love them. Grant them your favor and blessing. Anoint their hands with your healing touch! Give us dreams and visions to find cures to cancer, diabetes, aids, SMA, and every other disease! I release wisdom and revelation to scientists so they can prove for a FACT that LIFE begins at conception! I declare that Heaven will flood our medical community, and the two will partner to eradicate disease from this earth!!!

are you happy?

2010-03-10T14:45:00.000-05:00

I got inspiration for this post from my friend Steve Ewing’s blog, you can read that post here. It’s a great blog because I believe it’s part of his heart, just like this blog is a part of mine. The two blogs are very different, but everyday I read his and I’m deeply impacted. Sometimes it makes me laugh, it challenges me, it makes me think, and it touches my heart. Plus the dude can really rhyme.

To me, being happy is a choice, but it’s not always an easy choice. In fact it’s often a hard choice to make, and one that I often fail at. So many factors effect our happiness. Our relationships, our health, our career, our social status, our finances, our schedule, our school, and anything else you can possibly think of. If all of those things are going great, then most likely we will be very happy. But for a lot of people, they have a lot of crap in their life. They have to deal with things that we have no idea how to relate to. And we have things in our life that others don’t understand. Steve talks I think half jokingly about people thinking he’s 18, but actually he’s 26. Next week I’ll be 24. There’s nothing I want more than to be in love with a beautiful girl, to be married and to be a daddy to my boys or girls. But instead I’m stuck on a vent and in a wheelchair, and for now I still have a disease that cripples my body. That’s not fun nor does it make me happy. I know I’m not the only one, we all would probably change something about our lives. I’m not usually happy about my life.

But I do always have joy. The joy of my Father that overcomes all things. Please know that when I write this it is often real to me. Many times it might seem like the cliche Christian answer. “Don’t worry brother, God is good and He is with you.” But the truth is, HE IS!!! The biggest choice in life that we will ever make is, do we want to know God or do we not? I’m not talking about knowing about Him, but do we know Him intimately? As a person, as our Father, as our savior, healer, deliverer, friend and as our lover? Do you want to? Some people say God is good to make themselves feel better, others say it because they know it from the depths of their soul. I’m not a person that is all knowing or perfect, but I do know God. And my relationship with Him is constantly growing when I allow it to. The more and more I get to know Him, the more I see how much value He has for joy. He is a Father full of joy, and He wants to abundantly pour it upon His children. I think having joy and being happy are two different things. You can be happy and not have joy, but it’s impossible to have joy and not be happy. Meaning, when we have joy it engulfs everything that might steal our happiness. God just simply makes me happy. I am His son!!! He takes delight in me, He sings and dances and shouts His praises over me. As His son I have legal access to step into that and carry that with me. Having a “lifelong” (by the standards of unbelievers) disease, one of my greatest weapons is the joy of my Father. And even people without disease, joy is still critical. Beni Johnson teaches she lives in a constant state of joy. When she prays it must be from a place of joy, it gives us the mindset of victory. That’s what I want. I want to always live in joy. We cannot yield to our circumstances. But when we yield to our Father, to His joy, our circumstances will bow to Him. Joy gives me strength. It gives me strength to persevere and to pursue my dreams. The dream of walking and falling in love with my future wife.

Father fill us with your joy!!!

mercy triumphs

2010-03-10T14:43:00.000-05:00

It’s tragic how many people think God is mad at His people. God is a good Father, more loving than we may ever know. I don’t know Pat Robertson, and I don’t judge him. This post is not to criticize him. But I just want to clarify what I believe. I hear so many people ask, “If God is so good, then why does he allow such bad things?” And there is the other side to it, “God causes tragic situations to bring judgment and humility.” Both sets of theology are so far from the truth. In case you don’t know, Robertson said this while talking about the Haiti earthquake, “You know … something happened a long time ago in Haiti. …They got together and swore a pact to the Devil.” Now he did not directly tie that statement to the direct cause of the earthquake. But he should never have brought it up in the first place. Not when a tragedy has just collapsed their nation. Maybe what he said is true about the pact, I don’t know. Pat Robertson is older and wiser than me and no doubt he is a man of God. Please take the following as a position from innocence and humility. But even if there was a pact with the devil, God never takes His wrath out on people.

God is good beyond anything we can dream or think of. I’m dealing with the second part of the wrong theology first. “God causes tragic situations to bring judgment and humility.” Unfortunately most people and even most Christians believe God is a proverbial big man in the sky. We believe He is a distant cold God that is not interested in our lives. In fact, most people like it like that. Most Christians want religion, rules, or no rules, a formula, a path, an easy way out. We don’t want relationship, but it is in fact what God demands. All God wants is us, our love. He is madly in love with each of us. All He wants is good things for us. I got involved with a Bible study my freshman year of college. We got together every Sunday night to talk about Jesus, our hearts, the adventure we live, and the battle we fight. It was the best thing I ever did. I went so deep with God and my brothers. The deeper I went it got more and more painful, but I also got more and more free. I really started to question why I had a disease. Did God give it to me? Why? Throughout that year I formed a strong friendship with Jesus for the first time in my life. And you know what I found? Goodness. His love for me is deeper than I had ever known. Through my friendship with Him, through His presence, through His voice, through wisdom and revelation, through His word, through testimony, through worship, through my friends, and through council, I realized that God did not give me my disease. His will is for me to be well. It’s that simple. What mother and father among us would cause calamity to their children? How much more then does God have love for us? I think the best proof is in Jesus. Jesus only did what He saw the Father do. Bill Johnson says Jesus is the most normal Christian in the Bible. He is what we must become. He healed EVERYONE that came to Him. Not one person left Him sick. And Jesus rebuked every storm. Not once did He give a disease or any kind of storm to anyone for any reason. God is a judge, there is a devil, and there is sin. God does have wrath. But because of the blood of Jesus, it is not pointed at people. Not even unbelievers. Mercy ALWAYS triumphs over judgment. As Christians we must not forget that. We must declare and decree His mercy and grace. “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.” (1 Corinthians 7:14) As believers we must sanctify unclean situations through the love of Jesus. That is our duty. It might be healing the sick, raising the dead, binding the broken hearts, or just loving people. We must go to the dark and release life. Our belief sanctifies the unbelieving. God is good all the time.

“If God is so good, then why does he allow such bad things?” This question is a little tougher to answer. First of all, hurricanes, earthquakes, famine, disease, torment, and death is not the will of God. We already discussed that. So why does it happen? The short and right answer: “I don’t know.” I think its better to not answer a question that God is not answering. Here is what we know. We have Holy Spirit living inside us, the very Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead. We have all the authority and power. He has given us reign over the earth. This is our dominion. The reason that we have free will is because God wants us to choose Him. He wants our worship and relationship, but He wants us to choose that. Through our relationship with Him we partner with Him to bring Heaven to earth. To many believers believe that prayer is powerless and become passive in their secret place. In most cases God doesn’t act unless we pray first. It’s not that He needs us, but He chooses to work through us. I’m not going to get out of my chair unless people pray for me. We’re not going to stop hurricanes and earthquakes without praying first. I really believe that through prayer we can prevent disease, poverty, and natural disasters. But it still happens. Everyday people die and it’s not Gods will. Why? I don’t know. Frankie died from Spinal Muscular Atrophy almost seven years ago, and in three weeks I’ll be 24 with the exact same disease. Why? I don’t know. I do know Frankie should be alive today. There is so much that we don’t understand. Whether you like it or believe it or not, we are at war. There is a thief that comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Is an earthquake a result of the war? I don’t know. Please understand that I am not about mindless Christianity. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” (Hosea 4:6) We must always be on a pursuit for truth. But sometimes God doesn’t answer every why, and therefore we shouldn’t either. We are very much allowed to ask. God why did the earthquake happen? God why did Frankie die? But if He doesn’t answer we must know that it was not Gods fault, it was not His will. We must not become offended. And finally we must seek justice. It is our responsibility to seek divine justice, making sure no one else parishes in the same way. That’s the best way to deal with tragedy. We must never think that we have arrived, there is always more in God. I will not be satisfied until every single person that asks me for prayer is healed. There is no other option. What do I have better to do? Every person that I pray for and their not healed, that’s on me. There is no lack on Gods part. He is absolutely good. That doesn’t mean I do the guilt thing. Even though it’s on me, I can’t think oh man if only I prayed harder, or oh man if only I didn’t sin that day. What I do instead though is I seek God further. I ask for strategies and words, I ask for wisdom and revelation, and I just worship Him. I live in His presence. And I keep going for it, I never give up. God is so good and so big He uses me. I pray that I will live to see the day that Spinal Muscular Atrophy bows to the name Jesus. I pray that I will live to see the day that nations are so filled with the Spirit and are so protected by the prayers of the saints, that earthquakes can’t harm anyone. I’m alive to bring Heaven to earth. “God why am I in a wheelchair? Why am I on a vent? Why might I die from this? God I’m not hearing an answer, but I know it’s not you. I know you’re deeply in love with me. I know you want me to walk more than I want to walk. God it really hurts. Please come Lord, please bring freedom. Lord I pray that I will never rest until this is beaten. Lord make me hungry for you. Give me an appetite for the impossible. Fill my heart with compassion, fill me with righteous anger, fill me with your love. I want to be so consumed with you that disease will flee when I walk into a room. Jesus I love you.”

That’s what we do when tragedy happens. I’m not perfect, I don’t always have that attitude. But I pray that I do more and more everyday. You may or may not agree with me, and that’s fine. God have mercy on us. Bring restoration and healing to Haiti. Encounter them with your love. Lord I ask for divine justice. I pray that an earthquake will NEVER bring this kind of devastation again. In the name of Jesus. Let your will be done. On earth as it is in Heaven.

“Once the author steps on the stage, the play is over.” -CS Lewis.

marked by heaven

2010-03-10T14:39:00.000-05:00

God bless you is a very common term that millions of people say everyday. I’m sure some people really appreciate it, but I know that I used to take it for granted. I never really thought about it. I thought, well I guess it’s nice someone wants God to bless me. But what does bless even mean? I think in our Christian culture we have so much lingo for God things that it’s easy to forget our words have power and meaning. Our words carry real weight. The Bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. And that is true whether we are Christian or not. But as I am a Christian, I want to know what I’m speaking and praying.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary it means “to invoke divine care for,” or “to confer prosperity or happiness upon.” That’s basically what I was taught, and it is absolutely true. Being blessed can mean exactly that, and that can be very powerful in it self. But there is more, in life there is always more. As Bill and Kris teach, there are many levels of truth in life. What you reap you sow is a powerful truth, but living in grace is deeper and even more true. The same is true for words. Every word is an onion layered with truth and meaning. It’s an invitation for revelation. We can choose to stay at the surface or dig in deep. And I dig as far as I can go. My words literally carry the weight of Heaven. So Lord as I discuss the word blessed, release revelation, understanding, and life.

I don’t want to redefine it, but I do hope to give a deeper meaning. The first thing we need to understand is that every person carries a measure of favor. Favor is our standing with God. Every person has a different amount of favor. God is madly in love with every single person the same amount, but our favor is different. We are all born with it, but it’s not equal. And the amount of favor at birth has nothing to do with us or our parents. The great thing is that we all can grow in favor, and there is no limit. Even Jesus, the Son of God, had to gain in favor with man and God. A basic way to grow in favor is by blessing each other. Bill Johnson says that when we bless someone, we are literally releasing our own favor onto them. We are marking them as blessed, which is an open invitation for God to dramatically intervene in there lives. It sounds cliche, but if our prayers move us, it moves Heaven to act. But it’s so true. That’s why whenever I pray I always ask God to open my heart first. Because if I’m not feeling it, neither will Holy Spirit. I always pray the blessing of God over others, it gives them favor and is an open invitation for whatever they need. Whether it’s love, grace, a breakthrough, or anything else. I was learning this about two years ago right before I went to Bethel for the first time. I was ready to get on a five hour flight with Steve and Bryan. I hadn’t flown in years and I wasn’t sure how my body would respond. I trusted them but they had never taken care of me, so I was pretty nervous. Going through security a nice lady checked me over and let me through. As I was leaving she said “God bless you.” I felt an overwhelming peace and started crying. Whether she knew it or not, she marked me with Heaven, giving me an increase in Gods favor. I knew then I had learned for a reason what being blessed meant. I would never again take those words for granted.

I challenge all of us to have faith that our words release the power of God. Our words can cause cancer to flee, the lame to walk, and allows the blind to see. When we speak, lets choose to release blessing.

Thank You

2009-11-25T14:30:00.008-05:00

I'm thankful for....

My Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. For your unconditional love, grace, and joy. God you're my everything. Thank you for your intimacy and presence.

My Mom and Dad. Everyday you give everything up so I can have it all. I love you. I will spend my life loving you, honoring you, and blessing you.

My brother, my best friend. You are there for me when no one else is.

Garrett and Joel, my cousins, brothers, and best friends.

Grandpa and Grandma, Grammy and Papa, Aunt Rita, Uncle Rick, Aunt Gaylene, Aunt Pam, Uncle Keith, Ryan, Ronnie, Liz, Brett, Jenn, Dean, Robbie, Becca, Haylee, Aunt Lila, Uncle Gary, Jeff, Kelly, Uncle Gary and Aunt Vanissa, Uncle Mark and Aunt Pam, Jacob, Britt, Uncle Steve and Aunt Beth, Jeff, Joy, Jason, Uncle Marv and Aunt Linda, Uncle Eugene and Aunt Cindy, Crystal, Carrie, Uncle Kenny and Aunt Jan, Holly, Greg, Grandpa and Grandma Schultz and Beach, Caswell Family, Uncle Brad, and Aunt Vera. And my puppy Cash. Without you I wouldn't be alive, I wouldn't be me.

Gater Family, Robbins Family, Nelson Family, Krzeczkowski Family, Emhoff Family, Mikeyp, David and Sarah Reeves, Betsy Ruhlig, Emily Golen, Bryan Hamilton, Amy Knight, Julie Johnson, Katie Graf, Jason and Lisa, David D'Louhy, Sarah Beni, Joey, Kevin, Jakey, Dan, Schmitty, Jeff, Steve and Kate Ewing, and Laura Hailes. You keep me fighting. You have fought for me, encouraged me, loved me, and helped me grow up. You cry with me, dance with me, take care of me, celebrate with me, and pray with me. You give me life.

Pastor Tom and Christ Our King. Your restless prayers are powerful. You taught me to trust God. You laid my foundation.

Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton, and Bethel Church. You're a catalyst to my destiny. You showed me how great God truly is. You showed me how to know Him. You have faith for me when all faith is lost.

Young Life. You taught me how to love. You showed me what community is.

Everyone at University of Michigan. Special shout out to EVERY SINGLE NURSE! You kept me alive.

Gods goodness, His resurrection power, His justice, His compassion, His peace, and His righteousness.

Broken

2009-11-23T14:51:00.002-05:00

When I used to hear that Christians should be broken it made me so mad. I didn't understand what it meant. I created a theology that my disease made me broken, so I never pursued brokenness. Besides that, I didn't like the idea. But since then I understand it a little bit better. I think there is a bad kind of broken, and there is a kind of Godly brokenness. The bad brokenness is sin, disease, death, defeat, and wounds. We can use the Godly kind of broken to eradicate false brokenness. Sin and disease are the farthest kind of brokenness God wants for us.

I would define true brokenness as the first step to humility. Humility is not being sad or belittling yourself. Humility is boldly going to to the throne of our King, and knowing that He is God. I am a son of God, I'm real royalty, I'm strong, powerful, loving, courageous, wise, and in love. That is not arrogance, it is knowing who I am. But humility is yielding yourself to God, knowing who He is. That's why I love the worship song “Here I am to Worship.” It is so profound. It says that more than anything else, God I'm here to worship you. Bill Johnson says that all ministry flows out of worship. That song has brought me through some very hard times.

Like I said, I believe that brokenness is the first step to humility. For me, I get busy, complacent, numb, and many other emotions and behaviors that lead me away from God. But being broken can be seen as God coming near us. He's making Himself aware to us. Last year I went to Florida for the outpouring. One day I went to lunch at Sonny's BBQ with Steve Nelson and Denise Gater. It was great friends, great conversation, and great food. While we were there Steve got me a Sonny's sticker and put it on my footrest, so I see it everyday. When I see that sticker it breaks my heart, but not in the unhealthy way. It reminds me of God and my relationships. It breaks my heart because even though I'm in love with Jesus and my friends, it's easy to go on in life. I also look to my picture of me walking that Denise painted me. It imparts life to me, reminding me the impossible awaits to bow to Jesus by my command. Being broken by Jesus is like being pierced in the soul. It's when He touches the deepest parts of me. He breaks us through His goodness, love, compassion, and power.

Lord I pray that we become your laid down lovers.

Bethel's Offering of Thanks

2009-11-12T14:21:00.002-05:00

Every Sunday when Bethel Church gives offering, they give thanks by saying this. It is so powerful!

As we receive today's offering we are believing the Lord for:

Jobs and better jobs,
Raises and bonuses
Benefits Sales and commissions
Favorable settlements
Estates and inheritances
Interests and income
Rebates and returns
Checks in the mail
Gifts and surprises
Finding money
Debts paid off
Expenses decrease
Blessing and increase

Thank You, Lord, for meeting all of my financial needs that I may have more than enough to give into the Kingdom of God and promote the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Hallelujah!!!!!!

Healer

2009-11-10T12:49:00.002-05:00

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

Those are some lyrics to one of my favorite songs. It's called Healer. They are simple lyrics, but so profound. Most people don't have the revelation that Jesus is Healer. Christians believe Jesus died for our sins. They go to him because they are scared, worried, struggling, and seeking forgiveness. But not enough Christians go to Him because they are sick. They either believe God gave them sickness, or they don't have faith they will be healed. Some believe that God could, but not sure if He will. But the truth is God wants us to be healed more than we want to be healed. Jesus paid the price for our bodies just as much as our soul. When Jesus rose from the dead He beat sin, disease, death, and, torment. “Jesus Christ bore my sins in His own body on the tree; therefore, I am dead to sin and alive unto the righteousness of God, in Christ Jesus, and by His stripes I am healed and made whole.” (1 Pet. 2:24; Rom. 6:11; 2 or. 5:21). When we become born again, we are made new. The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is in us. We are dead to sin, disease, and torment. It is illegal. Do we all live like that? No. I have weakness and have a major disease. But that's for another post. I keep my eyes on Jesus. Lets look to Him. Be bold. Have compassion. Don't give up. Pray unceasingly. Listen to His voice. He wants us well, today.

Bless President Obama

2009-11-03T14:30:00.000-05:00

It was about a year ago that America elected Barack Obama as our President. If you know me, you know it's no secret that I did not vote for him. I don't know his heart, or don't know him. But from what I gather, I disagree with a lot of his policies. My big one is the right to life. You can't convince me that the Lords agenda is not to decree the protection of the unborn from the highest courts of our land. President Obama does not have that agenda. But when I listen to Kris Vallotton, a pastor at Bethel, he always encourages us to not live by a denominational mindset, but have a value for family. In a denomination the first goal is to always agree, then from there create a relationship. With family, you create relationships first, with love, regardless of what you agree or disagree with.

I believe in Jesus. He is my savior, healer, and deliverer. I believe He is the only way to freedom, forgiveness, and eternal life. But what kind of Christian would I be if I only loved and made relationships with people who agree with me? And it's just as wrong to befriend people so I can change them. The same should go with our President. God commands us to honor and pray for the people who have authority over us. As Christians lets represent Christ. Lets love and bless Obama with no other motive. Kris says Obama is somebody's son, husband, lover, nephew, friend, and confidant. And most of all, he is a son of God, and God is deeply and madly in love with him. As much as God is on my side, he is just as much behind Obama. Our President is not someone we can criticize and judge. Who among us knows what he goes through? That's not to say to be passive in our prayer life, but it must flow from love.

Lord I pray you bless President Obama. Bring peace and love to him and his family. Protect them from all harm. Lord right now he needs you more than ever, make yourself known to him. Shower him with your love. Let him encounter you. Lord surround him with Godly council, and humble his heart that he may listen. Let your will be done, not his and not mine. Release favor over him, so that his presidency will be a success. Raise up your sons and daughters to stand behind him, constantly interceding on his behalf from love and honor. You are a good God! We love you!

Part Of Your World

2009-10-21T14:01:00.007-04:00

If you spend any amount of time with me you will discover that I love Disney. I especially like the animated classics. I think they are powerful movies, at least to me. "The Little Mermaid" is one of my favorites. The part of the movie I want to talk about is when Ariel sings "Part of Your World." Whether the song writer knew it or not, the message of this song is right out of the Bible. Every time I hear it I get tears in my eyes.

She starts out the song with how thankful she is for her home and all the things she has. But she quickly moves into how she wants more, she isn't satisfied. She wants to dance and walk on her feet! When I hear that I feel warmth in my soul. I want to dance and walk on my feet! Banning Liebscher, a pastor at Bethel, taught me that I must always stay thankful, and at the same time never be satisfied with what I have. The two go hand in hand. In God there is always more. He values thankfulness, and wants us to stay grounded in that. But He never sets limits for us, we set our own limits. One thing I want is for Ann Arbor to be a "wheelchair free zone." I want people to come from around the world to Ann Arbor, and the second people come into the city limits they get out of the chair, not needing any prayer. I absolutely believe that kind of glory and presence is possible. But it takes thankfulness and desperation. I always ask God for more, asking that He will take me to places in my soul where I never become satisfied. God wants to give us cities and nations, but do we want them? I don't always. There are days when I just feel blah. I have another dream where I run a hotel, where miracles happen daily. After I got so sick last year I didn't know what to do. My dreams seemed farther away than ever. I decided that instead of having that mindset, I started going back to school. I want to go back to school to get a degree in business as a practical step. It would force me to think ahead and not allow my circumstances to define me. It helps me remember I'm alive for big and mighty things. How sad would it be if people became satisfied? God doesn't need us to act, but He wants us and chose us. He chose to work through us.

Lord please grant us grace to always be thankful, and to always want more.

Now I Know

2009-10-08T16:07:00.000-04:00

Last October my life changed drastically. I went to the hospital with pneumonia because I could barely take a full breathe. For the first twenty-two years of my life I slept on a machine called a Bi-Pap, and thank God I only had to wear it at night. During the day I was pretty much a normal kid who liked to hang out with friends and chase girls. I was blessed with a lot of strength that most people who have Spinal Muscular Atrophy do not have. I could eat and feed myself, I wrote most of my school work, and I stayed out of the hospital from ten to twenty-one. I got most of my strength from my faith in Jesus and by the people who I surrounded myself with. My parents and family and friends were vital to my health and strength. I went on with life never thinking about being in a wheelchair or having a disease. By the support of my parents I lived, and I'm still living, a great life. I did not think about how I would go to college or get married and have a family, I just knew I would. You could say that I was naïve, had blind faith, foolish, and was in denial. But I say I had a heart after God and had His favor. I didn't even know it.

After graduating high school my body became increasingly weak. It was harder for me to eat and I started losing a dramatic amount of weight. And my lungs started getting weaker. I really became scared. For the first time in my life I had come to terms that this disease might kill me. I began thinking that I would never get married. I started asking God why He made me this way, and if He did not then why allow it. But then God surrounded me with people who showed me what He is like. Everyone in Young Life knew God, they loved Him and loved each other. They shared that love with me. I felt courage and hope and joy again. After about a year of being in fellowship with them I had deeper relationships and a deeper life with Jesus than ever before. I began to know God and not just know about Him. Through time He taught me that He is always good. He taught me that He is madly in love with me. And more than anyone else He wants me to walk and be healed! It was never His will for anyone to have any disease. Jesus paid the price to set me free. From that point on I have unashamedly pursued and chased God and that dream.

October 2008 I hit a major road block. I had an emergency surgery where they had to put a trach in my neck to save my life. They hooked me up to a vent and hoped for the best. My parents and family prayed and waited, not knowing if I would make it out alive. I honestly don't remember about a four day span because I was so sick and on so many drugs. I eventually woke up scared, angry, and lifeless. I couldn't talk or move. I didn't even remember why I was there. I eventually learned to talk, but with in days I had to have another surgery because I aspirated most of what I swallowed. They put in a feeding tube so I could eat right. That was expected because they told me that for years. But the final blow came about a week later. They came and said that its possible that infection from my teeth could have drained down into my lungs and they want me to have surgery to pull out my teeth. It was devastating. I understand my teeth were in bad shape but I did not want them to do it. I was already connected to a machine full time and I just wanted some dignity. But the teeth came out. Every single one. It was a hard time, I was in so much pain physically and emotionally. Three surgeries in a row is tough. It was a few days until I could talk. I tried praying and worshiping but my heart felt so tired and hard. Everyday since I was nine-teen I wake up every morning and sing my mom a short song. I made it up myself, it goes “my beautiful, beautiful, Mommy.” I sing that to a tune from “Mr. Holland's Opus.” I do it so everyday my Mom knows how beautiful and special she is. I sang it in the hospital very weakly and she just held me and cried. It was then I knew I would be okay. Her compassion broke through my pain replacing it with love and hope. It was the perfect representation of my Father, my God. God was there the whole time crying. He was hurt more than I was by what happened to me. He kept me alive through His compassion. He came near.

I'm here a year later and I'm still on a vent full time. I have no teeth and eat through my gtube. People ask me, “Don't you love your vent and being fully ventilated?” I just say its fine. The truth is I am thankful for it, thankful that I'm alive. I'm thankful for my gtube too. But I don't like it. Maybe they ask that to show me a positive. But I look to Jesus for that, I look at the empty tomb. Until I get off my vent and out of my chair I'm living below my birth right as His son. I will not settle for less. God wants me to walk today, not tomorrow, not in a year, and not to wait until Heaven. God is so good. I knew I was getting married but didn't know how. Now I know.

When I'm with my Daddy

2009-08-22T14:28:00.002-04:00

"When I'm with my Daddy, my innocence is restored." - Rick Pino

When I listen to those words it makes me so happy. God makes us innocent. The religious culture teaches us that God is a big man in the sky, who is far away and impersonal. He just sits up there and sometimes He gets angry at us for our sin. But the truth is God is madly in love with us, He is our daddy. He sings to us, He shouts joy over us, and dances around us. He meets us where were at.

Bill Johnson says God wants to give us the gift of innocence and adventure, something I ask for daily. People let their sin become bigger than God, and that is never true. While sin is wrong and it causes damage to our relationship with God and the ones we love, Gods focus is never sin. His focus is always on us. Lets say Adam sleeps with Carol before marriage. Adam spends his days crying and asking for forgiveness, feeling shame, guilt, and sorrow. But Carol realizes what she has done was wrong. She doesn't allow herself to feel guilt and shame. She gets alone with her Daddy, deciding she wants to change. She decides to never give up her virginity until marriage. She encounters her Daddy, and He pours His extravagant love on her. He restores her innocence and virginity. She can go now with the sin erased from her life, she is a virgin once again. Thats how powerful and good our Daddy is, and how not powerful sin is. Sorrow, tears, and remorse are okay as long as you ask for repentance. Repentance means to change the way we think, to basically turn the other way. But guilt and shame are not from God, it only brings condemnation. God sees, and wants us to see, that we have never sinned with the blood of Jesus. It is illegal to bring up sin in our past that God has already dealt with. Our Daddy is so good!

I am so thankful that my Daddy is in love with me!

speaking into our lives

2009-08-19T12:48:00.004-04:00

Eric and Tami Taylor are fictional characters on "Friday Night Lights" but they are very real to me. I just finished season one and was greatly effected. It is a profound series about a small town in Texas that revolves around their families, religion, and most of all the high school football team. While I am not a big football fan, I love the show. It is about so much more than football. It deals with real people in real situations, it is compelling, heart breaking, and authentic. The heart of the show is Eric and Tami Taylor. He is the football coach and she is a high school counselor. They represent a real and true love to every kid on that show. While they are not perfect, it is an amazing representation of marriage. One that I look at and can pray and think "that's what I want!"

I believe the most important people in every persons life, young and old, are parents. The only person that should become more important is Jesus,and after that are spouse and kids. But especially growing up a mother and father are the most important and influential. A mother and father shows us God, love, protection, trust, joy, forgiveness, courage, hope, faith, honor, and are an example of how to live. Without a mother and father children can become afraid, bitter, angry, hateful, full of despair, and so on. But I would suggest parents can not do it alone. We were built to be surrounded by family and community, something this show demonstrates so powerfully. The Taylor's are there to not to replace parents, but to support them. To just be there. To just love them. I am convinced I have the greatest parents in the world, but I also have the best, what I call, spiritual parents. I could not live with one or the other.

Lets honor the people who speak into our lives through their words, actions, and examples. And check out Friday Night Lights!

Walking, Leaping, and Praising God!

2009-08-13T12:25:00.001-04:00

Now Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms from those who entered the temple; who, seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for alms. And fixing his eyes on him, with John, Peter said, “Look at us.” So he gave them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” And he took him by the right hand and lifted him up, and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. So he, leaping up, stood and walked and entered the temple with them—walking, leaping, and praising God.

-Acts 3:1-8

I first heard this verse about four years ago. Mike Prentice read it aloud as we were worshipping and preparing to pray for my miracle for the very first time. It struck my heart and it came alive to me immediately. It came alive for obvious reasons, Peter and John heal a man who was lame from his mothers womb, which is me. But it also came alive for less obvious reasons. Little did I know how much it would mean to me. Obviously I was not healed that day, or any time since that day. But I can always turn to this verse for encouragement. The days following the day I heard this verse the Lord began telling me He wants to heal all of me. He wants to heal me physically but He also wants to heal my soul and my spirit. It was very clear to me. Jesus heals with power and wisdom. Pastor Kris Vallotton received insight and revelation into these verses, and I am going to put it in my own words.

Peter and John had no money. But they did have power and authority. It is just like real currency, they had faith that this man could walk for the very first time. This is what lead to his sozo. Sozo is the greek word for healing, wholeness, recovery and salvation. When Jesus used the word He was not talking about short-term solutions but long-term restorations. It means to be fully saved, healed, and delivered in the spirit, soul, and body. The first thing the man does is walk, he is physically healed. This man is able to walk for the first time because of Peter and John's currency!

The next thing it says is the man leaps. It was not obvious to me why this is significant. Pastor Kris says there is no wasted word in the Bible, every word is an invitation for revelation. He also says the man leaps because at the same time he was healed in his body, he was also healed in his soul. The way I see it is the man was so filled with joy that he had to leap. The joy he had caused his leaping which broke away every chain that was hindering his soul. The healing of the soul is just as important as the salvation. It is possible to be saved without being healed. It is not to say the man or myself is depressed. I experience a lot of joy on a daily basis. But I would be lying if I told you my disease has no effect on me on some days. God is so good that He cares enough to make our soul alive to Him.

And finally the man praises God. This is evidence that he was healed in his spirit. In the Bible it says disease is to your body what sin is to your soul. If I leave sin in my life it hardens my heart. It makes it much harder sometimes to know and be in His presence. I would suggest if disease goes on without taking it to God daily it has the same effect. Some people blame God for their disease and they become bitter. Others think God gave them a disease to make them a better person or some other reason they do not understand. Both are wrong and stupid. I have found the best way to deal and keep my spirit healthy is praising God. I stay thankful no matter what I face without thinking of stupid reasons of why I am not walking yet.

I had no idea how much this verse really spoke into my life when I first heard it. God wants to heal all of us! Yay God!

inspired by "Julie & Julia"

2009-08-10T14:22:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I went to go see “Julie & Julia” with my mom. It was a great movie. It was funny, romantic, and inspirational. It focused a lot about cooking and writing, two things I am passionate about. They both bring me joy and heart ache. I am really grateful for my blog. When I write in it I feel as though it is more for me than anyone else. Just as Julie Powell aspired to be a writer, she turned to her blog. My dream is to be a writer, to share my life, and to hopefully show people who Jesus really is.

I start fresh today. So often I do not write because I think I have nothing to say. And to be honest I really do not enjoy it, that is the heart ache. I write because it is hands down the easiest and best way I express myself. God has told me to write a book. And it is the most common prophetic word I receive. It brings me joy to share, and to know I am stepping into my destiny. Every person has a story to tell. For the most part I love talking about myself, and it is easy for me. Writing this book is an adventure because I am living it out.

Cooking is a huge joy to me. I absolutely love it. The heart ache comes because for now I can’t do it myself and I am not able to eat. But I believe I will be able to. When I walk I will make the most amazing meal for my family, I can not wait. My other dream is to have a resort with some of the best food in the world.

Pray that I persevere. That I love, laugh, dream, risk all, write, and cook.

be still

2009-07-26T14:05:00.000-04:00

"Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)

I love this verse. It is so simple and profound. Yet so often I am not still. Time is the most valuable thing to God, and certainly to a lot of people too, including myself. So many Christians like myself do Bible study, go to church, stays out of sin, mission trips, and the list can go on forever. While those things are important and needed, God aches and longs for us to come into His throne room to be with Him.

At some point everyone likes to be with someone, they need and want a connection. The most profound experiences I have with people is not watching tv, movies, sports, video games, and so on, but they are when we make a heart to heart connection. To really know a person takes a lot of effort and time. Staying up all night talking, sharing a meal, worship and prayer, and simply just being together. It is a time for healing, because when your with someone I believe the person your with releases life to you. I have experienced this first hand. When laying in the hospital and I feel like crap, it literally makes me feel better when someone sits with me. If I am struggling with something, being with someone makes me better. I know everyone has experienced this, but for some reason it is not always easy. I have found it is easier to stay busy, to have activities and go out and about. Those things are ok to do, and I love to do all those things, but if it happens a lot, it is easy to fall into a place where it gets harder to share and just be. Sometimes not doing those things can be very awkward. It is difficult to share your dreams, desires, thoughts, and feelings. And finally with so much to do people get bored with nothing to do.

Being in Gods throne room means to be with him. God is madly in love with us and all He wants is us. Early in my walk with God it did not occur to me being with God is important. Reading the Bible can teach you about God, which is important, because He says He is the word. But for so long it was just words. Yes I believed it, but it was mostly confusing and uninteresting. But being with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit and feeling their presence you get to know them as different persons. They become alive and they make the Bible come alive, it is more than just stories. Being with Him is the most exhilarating, intoxicating, peaceful, and lovely thing I've ever felt. God wants to know everything about us. Yes he knows about us, he is God. But to share with Him is a whole other thing, it is being intimate and trusting in Him. And yes it is is difficult because of every reason I already listed. But I challenge myself and my friends to slow down and be with God. I literally have to stop everything I am doing. Bill and Beni Johnson have taught me so much in this area. Sometimes I just sit, or go on a walk, or worship. I will not pray or ask for anything. I just allow His presence to rest on me, to feel His extravagant love! It is important to get used to His presence, to know what it feels like.

As important as knowing your spouse, friends and family is, it is way more important to encounter God! People live without His presence everyday and are very happy and fulfilled. But I would suggest life to the fullest is with God, knowing and being in His presence. And if someone just lives their own experience then they won't know anything else is available. Jesus came to give life to the full!! Lord grant us the grace to slow down, to get to know you. Help us recognize your presence. Lord help us fall in love with you even more!

"No Boundaries" :D

2009-05-22T17:07:00.000-04:00

I have not written in so long. I haven't had the energy or will to even start writing about anything. But here I am again, God is so good to me. I'd like to spend some time talking about potential destiny. I believe in destiny, but I also believe you must pursue it. Destiny to the fullest does not come to you. Its not to say part of it will not, but if everyones potential destiny was realized immediately than no one would live in sin, die from disease, or live under torment. I believe with all of my heart that destiny to the fullest is possible. The kind of destiny where wheelchairs aren't needed, where fathers and mothers are in love, and where the unborn are protected.

I think Holy Spirit brought this to my attention while watching American Idol believe it or not. I love that show. This year starting a few weeks back I felt I needed to begin praying for Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. I had many dreams and I think a few insights about what to pray. Then I started remembering back in season six I prayed a lot for Jordin Sparks. I remember seeing part of her destiny. When she sings people will be physically healed, miracles will break out just by the sound she releases. Kris will change people internally, without them really noticing it. He will draw people to our King with or without singing about Him. And Adam will release joy breaking people free of their issues by his sound. I believe this with all my heart. To a certain extent they are doing this. And to a certain extent I am the man I was born to be.

To reach destiny I believe you must pursue the impossible. Pursue real relationships with friends and people who have authority over you. And most importantly pursue Gods presence. His real, raw, tangible presence. Worship our King!

I think I wrote this for myself more than anyone, it feels good to write again. Pray my friends... oh and COME ON KRIS!!!

vote 2008

2008-09-22T21:14:00.000-04:00

Now therefore, be wise, O kings;
Be instructed, you judges of the earth.
Serve the LORD with fear,
And rejoice with trembling

Psalm 2:10-11

This is a very exciting season for me. I love politics and this is a very exciting election. I would love to share my heart about this. To me this election is about family. Family is the heart of life, the very core of our nation. The two biggest issues are life and the sanctity of marriage being between man and woman. It is my opinion that these issues are vital to family.

Roe V. Wade is a decree made by judges in America that legalizes the slaughtering of the unborn. All government is derived from government in heaven. Gods Kingdom does not allow the innocent to be killed. Our nation has taken a position. And as sons and daughters of the King we must arise and bring the Kingdom. We must govern and rule out of righteousness.

Barack Obama and John McCain are both great men. The truth is either man can run this country. The truth is the real hope and change America needs is found in Jesus. They are only one man. Lets arise and show the world who Jesus is. The Jesus that cares for the black boy in inner city Chicago, for the single mom without healthcare, for the family who lost their home or job, for the young men and women in Iraq, and for the unborn child whose destiny was stolen by being killed in the womb of their mother. The answer is not just up to our government, or up to one democrat or republican. As saints we are on earth to bring heaven to earth.

Only John McCain will give us judges that will vote for the rights of the unborn. This is why I am voting for John McCain. Women always have a choice to put their babies up for adoption. The unborn must have a voice and a right to life. Elections can be won by prayers! Lord let your will be done.

God I pray for righteous leaders and judges. Raise up your sons and daughters to bring justice. Life is the issue. Bring peace to our economy! I love you Jesus!

that the King may come inside

2008-08-14T12:32:00.000-04:00

Last night I was worshiping with the Florida Outpouring and it was amazing. The King of Kings came into my room. Catherine Mullins and Andrew Phillips lead worship. They do real songs but then it turns to spontaneous. They started singing “open heaven, open gate, open wide...that the King may come inside!!!” When they started singing those words I felt the Spirit of the Living God come upon me and I got rocked. God is so good. I started imagining Jesus come to Ann Arbor. I saw Him coming into Laura’s body and setting her free of SMA (the disease we both were born with.) It was earth shattering.

The most significant thing I received in Lakeland last month was peace. The peace that goes beyond understanding. The peace that takes me to my Daddy’s embrace. I had peace before, but now I have peace unparalleled to any other time in my life.

Jesus come inside!! Come posses me!!! “Here is my heart, you can have it all.” -Kim Walker

beauty and the beast

2008-08-06T12:14:00.000-04:00

You know those really fat markers that smell? Well those were my favorite toys ever. I would play for one for hours and hours and I wouldn’t even use it to draw. The marker would transform into whatever I want. Sometimes it was me. Other times it was a dog, Aladdin, Simba, Batman, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, and anything else I wanted to be. In my imagination I was always a hero. Usually I was saving a girl. I loved flying magic carpets, being a king, dodging bullets, wielding two swords, driving batmobiles, and rescuing my princess. I lived fairytales in my head relentlessly with just a marker acting them out. No bad guy would dare mess with me. I was the best and would always win.

I know that in every persons heart they have a need and desire for adventure. It is biblical. Christianity is an adventure in it self. I really thank God for those times. I believe we are all heroes. I believe God gave me all of those dreams, I just might not actually be a ninja turtle. But I am actually a prince. I have a core value where I want to live everyday with a sense of innocence and adventure, just like a boy. The Living God is inside of me and He gave me that right. My bad guys are sin, sickness, and torment. I wield the weapons of righteousness, peace, joy, power, hope, faith, and love. Because Jesus is alive I still win every battle I fight.

There was a dream in my spirit for a long time that my soul didn’t really know was there. David had to command his soul to rejoice because it wasn’t as quick as his spirit. I know that to be true in many ways. At the end of Walt Disney’s Beauty and the Beast there is an amazing scene where Beast is pulled up into the air and was transformed into the prince. At last love conquered the curse and his dream became reality. Well as a young boy my spirit captured that image and God set it in me. My soul never realized it was there. I never talked of it. I believe the reason why God gave it to me is because God wanted to show my spirit who I am, how He actually views me, and what he wants to do with me. I am that prince and love has conquered this disease by my King and it will be reality on earth. The scene was implanted in my spirit and has never let me go.

Father I ask for grace and favor to live with innocence and adventure everyday.

do things

2008-07-28T19:36:00.000-04:00

"The difference between people who do things and people who don't do things is that people who do things, do things." - Banning Liebscher

I love this quote and I think about it a lot. It makes my soul ache. It makes me hungry. I believe there is a grace on my life to dream with God easily and believe it will happen. I dream of writing books, walking, my wedding, my wife, my kids, my ministry, my mansions, jets, living in Gods glory, having revival at The Big House, emptying the University of Michigan Hospitals, having authority over every kind of Spinal Muscular Atrophy, no wheelchair zones, families totally alive to God, seeing abortion end because our courts rule for life, true mothers and fathers, no divorce, purity, no more poverty, and for every person in the world to be in love with Jesus, to know that He is alive and that God is good. The space between dreaming with God and living that out with God as reality is the doing things.

Being in a wheelchair and not being in school and not having a job allows me to have a lot of free time to say the least. Since I turned eighteen I went to college one year and had a job another. Three of those years I was an active leader in Young Life ministry. This most recent year I tried moving to Redding, CA to go to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry and ended up in the hospital and decided to come home. I spent the following month trying to figure out what happened, and then ended up in the operating room because I had a testicular torsion. By the time I got over that 2007 was over. On some days I felt like I have done nothing and have had no breakthrough with in the four years of radically following God. But let me tell you that is a lie. God is so good and so big He turns everything into good. God is full of grace and I must lean into Him, I must live for His voice. He is what fills me with love and grace. In all my failures and success He is what keeps me going. I have received both breakthrough and blessing. I could write a book just about how blessed I am. But there is more.

The term "do things" captures me. I must step into more grace and more favor. Risk more. Play harder. Rest efficiently. Love deeply. Pray unceasingly. Burst forth. Steward faithfully. Live powerfully. Give generously. Impossible dreaming. Walk innocently. Stand tall. Righteous living. Bring freedom. Knock harder. No guilt. Become knowledgeable. Cry mercy. Pursue abundantly. Rise again. Joyful always. Listen closer. Fight boldly. Sing praise. Capture thoughts. Review promises. Obey immediately. Worship recklessly. Offer sacrificially. Release presence. Honor others. Appreciate beauty. Clean messes. Defeat discouragement. Serve unselfishly. Command life. Hide nothing. Offense free. Declare victory. Believe passionately. Read bible. Encourage daily. Seek truth. Deeper friendships. Dance wildly. Be still. Give thanks. Peace domination. Relentlessly persist. Decree wisely. Bless all. Desire Him. Conquer fear. Shout loudly. Have compassion. Encounter Him. Be changed.

I won't settle for anything less than to live in my inheritance that Jesus bought for me. As His son, prince, and lover it is my privilege and responsibility to be free of all sin, disease, and torment. Through grace impacting and disciplining families, cities, and nations. To bring freedom to broken hearts, healing the sick, raising the dead, and casting out devils.

we have a measureless and boundless God

2008-06-24T18:57:00.000-04:00

God is good beyond anything we could dream or ask. I was listening to the newest Bethel sermon and at the end Bill prayed a very powerful prayer. He said "God we ask for greater anointing and greater revelation." It really is that simple. Any problem that we come against we already have the answer to it. This includes all disease, all poverty, all broken hearts, and all lost hope.

I really believe the more revelation we receive of God's goodness the more we are able to conquer darkness as a church. In fact, this is all His idea. The more revelation we receive that we are a royal priesthood, and that we are called by name as His sons and daughters the more powerful we become. He is our Daddy. He has more love for us than we could ever understand. We need to be saturated in His love for us. It must become a part of every fiber of our being. The more we realize how much our Daddy loves us the more faith we have to beat the stuff. We already know what His will is; it is on earth as in heaven. We really need to get that. The next revelation we need is that we have the power and authority. It is our responsibility to bring heaven to earth. To many people pray and ask God for something that He has commanded us to do. He commanded us to heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, and cast out demons. That was not a suggestion. The church needs to realize that we are the answer. As a church we must understand that God has called us to live in right relationship with Him. Jesus set the standard.

“How far will you let me go, how abandoned will you let me be…”

I love that line in Misty Edward’s song. It makes me so hungry. I’m going after Him, the nations, cities, and the hearts of the people.

He is

2008-06-13T21:07:00.000-04:00

I want to fall more in love with my King. He is my God. He is my Savior, Healer, and my Deliverer. He is my passion. He is my fire. He is my courage. He is my Judge and brings me my justice. He is my power and authority. He is my grace. He is my hope. He is my breath. He is my joy. He is my song. He is my provision. He is my victory. He is my home. He is my best friend. He is my experience. He is my strength. He is my giver. He is my sender. He is my giant killer and mountain remover. He is my peace. He is my hunger. He is my God who invades the impossible. He is my Father. He is my comfort. He is my teacher. He is my purity. He is my innocence. He is my adventure. He is my history maker. He is my dream. He is the Spirit that took residence in me. He is my compassion. He is my promise keeper. He is my Jesus, defeating sin, disease, and torment. He is my good news. He is my beauty. He is my connection. He is my heart softener, my soul piercer. He is my redeemer. He is my faith. He is my commander. He is my boldness. He is my creator. He is my helper. He is my above and beyond, my abundance. He is my finisher. He is my reason to worship, my reason to live. He is my honor. He is my worth. He is my identity. He is my amazing. He is my lover. He is good always. He is alive.

Jesus I love you. I give you my spirit, soul, and body.

What is your grid?

2008-05-25T14:00:00.000-04:00

My freshman year of college was intense. It was amazing and so hard at the same time. It was hard because it was a time my body was becoming much weaker, and amazing what God did to fill me with life. I decided to attend Concordia University, a small Lutheran school. I had lots of fun meeting new people, and enjoyed my speech class. But I found life in Young Life.

My senior year of high school I met a bunch of Young Life leaders who changed my life. Young Life is an organization of college age or older people that become leaders and share the love of Jesus with high school kids. Well immediately I knew I wanted to be a leader, so I started training my first semester of college. I met many life long friends. But aside from Young Life, me, a leader Mike Prentice, and two junior guys at Saline, Steve Nelson and James Strasburg met every Sunday night for man time. It was by far my favorite time of every week. It was a time of intentionally loving each other, sharing and fighting for our hearts, and there was an exchange of life. We pursued Jesus together. It ignited fire and passion in my heart. I learned so much that year.

One Sunday night we shared what we thought what our kingdoms or destiny would be. I shared I would get married, that me and my wife would have a family and be very happy. That was basically it. I figured that because of my situation our marriage would be so special and unique. I used to dream of having my wife take care of me and me fighting for her heart, and that everyday we would be thankful for everything. There was a time I was thankful for my disease, I was confused, it taught me to depend on God, to rest, to be patient and thankful. Well after I went Mike shared his, he also wanted to get married. But that morning a lady in his church told him he would do amazing things for God. Mike shared that with us and he knew that with his wife they would do miracles and crazy stuff. When he said this it felt liked the Holy Spirit grabbed me and never let go.

Over the next year living with Mike I realized that my dream was good but it was not big enough. I realized not to value my disease but to value me. This is is still happening because I have not known life without it. I learned God is so good that he uses all for His good. He is so good that despite my disease He gave me grace to learn the lifestyle of being thankful. That dream marriage and family is going to happen, it will be special and unique but not because of my disease, because its Jesus that makes it special and real. My grid was way off. I now dream of healing the sick and raising the dead, traveling all around the word. It is our responsibility to invade the impossible.

great brothers

2008-05-21T10:11:00.000-04:00

Growing up in middle school and high school I hung out with my brother Michael a lot, he is only a year younger than I am. We shared the same group of friends for the most part. It was me, my bro, Jake, Kevin, Schmitty, Dan, and Jeff. They were all my best friends. They are my family for life. My house usually was the place we hung out, because it was most accessible to me. In the early years they spent the night at our house every Friday. It is some of the best memories I have. Going to get chinese food, staying up late talking, going on walks, and I could go on forever.

I now realize their friendships were vital to the man I am becoming, vital to the story God is telling through me. They loved me, they took care of me, they released life to me. As everyones friends teach us about life. Everyone is vital, they have a role to play, God has called ALL by name. God says to ALL you are mine! These are the ones He chose for me. I honor them, love them.

Jesus thank you!!!! Encounter them!!!! Let their identities and dreams be realized.

Intoxicated

2008-05-15T15:39:00.000-04:00

I want to be intoxicated with the love of Jesus. He is the lover of my soul. I want to know who He is in me and I in Him. The more I experience Him the more I know I was born to be in an intimate friendship with Him. His very presence, His love is why I am alive. My identity as His Royal Priesthood is becoming more real to me.

Three years ago I was nineteen, I felt alone, scared, sad, and mad. I was just starting to find out who God was even though I was raised a Christian. Through real friends and books I learned that Jesus wants to pursue me, to have me live life to its fullest. But it brought no hope to the disease that plagued my body and soul. Spinal Muscular Atrophy was not new to me, I was born with it, I was supposed to die at eighteen months the doctors said. My parents are amazing. I was raised to have faith in God, to be positive and thankful, to not dream or live with the limits of my disease. They took huge risks, they didn't receive the news the doctors brought, I am forever in debt to them. They gave it all up for me. I was taught to be an over comer, and I felt like one. I had an amazing life, I never thought about why I was not walking or never felt sorry for myself. I owe that to my parents. I never second guessed myself, I believed I would get married and have a family. I believed everything happens for a reason, and that in Heaven I would walk.

My life dramatically changed at seventeen, one of my best friends also had SMA, and he died at sixteen. It crushed me. But I figured God must not be done with me. I made guy friends that wanted to pursue my heart, and not just play Nintendo. It brought me into deeper realms of God, it gave me passion to love and pray. At nineteen my body became much weaker in many ways. My disease became much bigger. Because of my friends, it made me question my disease, why did God give it to me, things I never thought about. I cried every night, asking God to keep me alive. I planned on moving out of my house to live with my best friend, to have some Independence. It was a desire of my heart, I thought God was doing me a favor before I died, I gave up the thought of being married. But two months before I moved out my new close friend/spiritual mom asked if I ever received prayer to walk, to be healed. My heart leaped for joy, but said no. She gave me a Bill Johnson cd, a pastor of Bethel Church in California. He talked of a good God in a good mood, a God that heals all disease, and not one that gives it. My soul loved every word, I couldn't get enough. He said everything I felt and knew about God, I just didn't see it. A month later my best friends anointed me in oil and laid hands on me, I felt the fire of God. It set me up on the adventure of my life. I saw my true destiny.

I'm twenty-two now, I'm still on that adventure. Thank you to Pastor Bill and pastor Kris for who you are. My fathers, my heroes. It is absolutely the will of God for me to be healed, for all to be healed. ON EARTH AS IN HEAVEN! HE WANTS TO HEAL NOW! Jesus intoxicate us with your love, drive out all disease! Good God!

good

2008-05-09T10:35:00.000-04:00

God is so good to me.

It is almost summer. This weekend Chris Overstreet is coming to Michigan! Yes. I just talked to Sandi on the phone, she is from beenup2. She is so great. I'm supposed to write. I love Jesus. I'm getting stronger. I'm His.

Jesus all I want is you. God more!!

Supernatural DNA

2007-12-07T13:19:00.000-05:00

About three months ago I had my bags packed, ready to move to Redding, California, one of the best places on Earth. I had planned on attending Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, which is in my opinion, the best school ever. It is my heart’s cry to be an abandoned lover of Jesus Christ and to walk in miracles, signs, and wonders. I have known about Bethel for a long time and have listened to their sermons for over two years, they live a Kingdom lifestyle and see miracles daily. Every door was opened and every obstacle was removed so that I could attend this school. I visited there in June and loved it, I was ready for the adventure of my life.

The first week of school was amazing. The worship and the presence of God is more intense than anywhere I’ve ever been. After the first week I started to feel sick. Me and my roommates spent a few nights praying over me, achieving some breakthrough, but then, in one day, I ended up in the hospital because it was so bad. God took the opportunity during the five days I was in the hospital to speak to my heart and reveal to me more of His nature. I know that God did not make me sick, but He uses all bad and turns it into good. I realized in the hospital that I needed to be home in Ann Arbor. Kris Vallotton, a pastor at Bethel, gave an amazing message about how God creates opportunities that He does not want you to take. The most valuable lesson I learned is to live daily for His presence and His voice alone, because it keeps me alive. He spoke to me about my mom, and how I am supposed to be in Ann Arbor for my family. I have had one huge encounter with God, and that was at Bethel, back in June. God showed me that it’s okay that I am having many small encounters here in Ann Arbor. God is working through process. A friend from Bethel gave me a drawing of “Supernatural DNA,” and God told me this is what he’s doing. I cannot be offended because God is doing it in a way that I didn’t think He would. I still ask to be whacked by Him, but I have learned to no longer be offended. The most important thing to God is our hearts, and He will continue to work in us until we fully represent Him. It is my responsibility as His son to bring those around me into an encounter with Him. I am still on the adventure of my life! God is good always! He is preparing me to see the day where everyone in a wheelchair will walk, and I boldly contend and believe that is today! Kingdom come now!